jeff1973

My wife's GBM started in Aug. 2010 and she is the few, like 3% that live over 3 years after it's found. She lived 3 yrs. and 2 weeks passing away at home. Her last day here she made funeral arrangements, made a very nice meal and passed the next day. She was positive that she would beat it until leukemia showed up in Mar. 2013. Then positive attitude because we had a good bone marrow donor. But she turned acute, brain cancer was coming back and Monday after Fathers Day we called it good and let it run it's course. Avastin was fantastic and bought us another year but eventually the end will come. Be supportive of your friend, allow him to say and ask anything, be sincere in offering any help you can take care of. Please encourage him to have ALL paperwork in order, even funeral arrangements " Just in Case ". It was soooo helpful to the survivors of both my wife and her Dad that I then became his full time caretaker also. About 3 months before Pam passed away she wanted to see our financial adviser and tax man because she wanted to know the life insurance, other papers and her Dads Trust was the way she wanted. Please encourage your friend to make sure his wife knows where papers are and has it as he wants, " just in case ". It's a true showing of his Love for his family to do so. Once they pass then the real crap raises it's ugly head. Thankfully my wife did it on her own and I saw the blessing and value of Pam getting everything in order. Fallow the others wise suggestions from here too. Sorry about your friend, Jeff

Awwww, What a nice memory. It put a smile on my face when I really needed to hear something good. Thank You so much,, Jeff

Ummmm, I have to agree with Taurus on this one. Love conquers and overpowers all fears. Love conquers distance. Love conquers handicaps. Love conquers everything. Love will not allow anything to stand in between two people "meant" to be together. Maybe it's time to move onto someone physically and emotionally available. Good Luck to you,, Jeff1973

Yup, I have missed you too. Last I knew you were counting down for that special day. It should be soon or did I miss it? I hope I didn't miss it. :-[ Hope you are doing well. Keep the Faith Jeff1973

Thank You for making us aware April. You may have saved someones life. Have a wonderful day,,Jeff1973

Missing Squish, I hope the guys can chime in because we have tons of fun too. I just finished giving the 3 schnauzers their hair cuts. Yeaaaa, it's done Chickens are put to bed ready to lay eggs tomorrow. Showered up and ready for Deadliest Catch. Hmmmmm Sort of lacking someone to watch a chick flick with. :-[ Oh well, maybe next Saturday Night? Maybe? Jeff1973

Yeah, at 1 year out, Thanks Mom. I'm so sorry blue. They just don't get it. You're not replacing a car. Happy Mothers to you and all the Widow Moms out there. Jeff1973

I'm sorry Fern for the hardships that you are going through. Bad enough to lose our spouses but then most of the time life feels like it has to drive the point home that we are alone and hurting. In 2010 Pam and I had our Trust and FIL had his Trust. There was just Pam and her brother left. Her brother died unexpectedly in June 2010, exactly 2 months later Pam's brain cancer started. After surgery we all went to the Trust lawyer to see if her dads Trust needed to be updated. Yup, it did. We would have thought that if brother wasn't around to collect his inheritance then Pam would get it all. Nope, not at all. In this state what would have gone to Pam's brother would then be given to his 2 kids. So Pam would get half the farm and her brothers 2 kids would get the other half. What a mess. Legally his wife is not entitle to anything unless the Trust says so. Since she blew what she inherited from her mom by going to Vegas, FIL was not interested in giving her anything. Oh wait a minute, FIL had previously paid off their house that was being foreclosed on. Hmmmm, FIL never had to bail us out for anything. It was then amended that Pam and or I would get the farm and her brothers 2 kids each received X amount of dollars. My 2 kids are to receive whatever cash is left over, if there is any. Pam nor I and a bunch of others never received anything from Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles or friends but things are different today. The one thing Pam didn't get done was set up college funds before she passed. She was concerned of how to set it up so DD wasn't dipping into it and what if they didn't go to college. I told her a few days before she passed I would take care of it and I will, to the amount she said. Another promise to keep. To me, I think the money in most cases should go to the spouse of the deceased, but in my Sil case, she would have spent it at the nearest Casino. Her son has received his inheritance early for a down payment on a house. There is something to show for it which pleased FIL. Maybe things are different in your state but that is what happened in my little world. I hope things work out for you, Jeff1973

donswife, I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom so soon after losing Don. Re-grief, I'm not sure that there is such a thing, kind of hard to say, who knows about this crappy road. Probably the biggest loss in our life is our spouse fallowed by a parent or child. Sometimes we are not allowed to grieve the loss of our spouse as we should. Did you have much time to grieve before finding out your Mom was sick? Maybe the issue is the grieving of losing Don was interrupted by learning your Mom was very sick and that is what you had to focus on. Now that your Mom has passed the grieving of Don starts back up. Probably now you're going through a double whammy of grieving over both Don and your Mom. 7 months after losing Pam I find her Dad taken down by a stroke and I had to move to his home to care for him. I'm not done grieving over losing Pam at all. Grieving has been on hold for over 2 years now. Grieving slips out now and then but is always interrupted by being a caretaker 24-7. Before too long I will be grieving the loss of Pam and the loss of her whole family. I knew all 5 members of this farm and they will be gone. No longer will this place be in her family's name. It also looks like my Mom is about to pass, so my parents will be gone. I think we will be in the same boat soon, continuing the grieving of losing our spouses. My hope is that it won't be as bad as the first few months. I can only hope, but it may be worse. Too many people dying. Do I have any advice? Nope, this is all new to me too. Sorry My best to you,,Jeff1973

KJS, Oh I have dealt with that one. My wife and I have spent thousands of hours helping her Dad on his farm through the years. 7 months after losing her to cancer I find her Dad taken down by a stroke. I moved from my farm to his farm to care for him in his home. For over 2 years I have cared for him by my self because he has no family alive anymore. I have spent thousands of dollars to care for him, plus place my grieving and life on hold to honor my promise to Pam. My very own kids have attempted to get his trust changed because I have, " Nothing Coming " as " I'm not Blood ". Grrrrrrrr. Not according to my Wife and FIL. No one but me has helped this 92 year old father of my wonderful Wife and WW 2 veteran. That's OK, Guess who's got , " Nothing Coming " when I pass away? Yup, I understand that stuff,, Jeff1973

Tybec, I guess I would have no problem with a lady checking me out to know that I'm legit and who I say I am. In fact I encourage it for their own peace of mind because I have nothing to hide. I'm not so comfortable of anyone saying they have or can learn everything about someone just to prove a point. Can that be an indication of control issues somewhere down the road? I don't know to be honest. My guess is if a lady doesn't want me to know who she is or where she is then that is her choice. If I want more then it's my choice to ask or to leave the relationship. I will never do anything that would make someone uncomfortable. It's not in me to do that. To me sharing information is a mutual trust issue and should be treated as such. Besides I'm too computer challenged to, " Know Stuff ". :-[ Love the Checklist Rob Jeff1973

Wow, at 22? This game playing stuff applies to all ages I think. So Sad that people do this. Honesty does matter Jeff1973

Same here Lewis.. At first I didn't like the black back ground but I came to like it. I'm typing till late at night and I think the black back ground is easier on my eyes. I think the black background makes it easier to go to sleep when I'm done typing too. Ya know, it's that Melatonin brain sleep thing. : Thanks for all you do, it's an excellent format all in all. :) jeff1973

Oh No Lewis, can everyone spell exceppt me? :-[ Maureen got her " Likes",, but no "Spell Checks" left in the bag? Ugggg, seriously, I have to get the Big Webster out in this computer age? : I know there is a fix somewhere. Thanks, Jeff1973

Spell check, OMG, gott to have a spell check on P.M.. :-[ :-[ :-[ Thanks for all you do. Jeff 1973