Taking a poll

[jgib]

Hmmm....interesting.  As of yet, I have not been the one to suggest a meeting.  I am a bit old school and think if a man has an interest, he will suggest it.

This may be why a couple of communications that seemed interesting just stopped.  If men are used to women suggesting the first meeting I may have seemed disinterested.

Oh well, not I a hurry anyways.  Don't really like this whole dating thing much.

[arneal]

jgib -- it seems the way of dating, particularly online, has changed quite a bit. The Young, Widowed, and Dating site is offering a dating webinar this weekend (I get their emails as I needed to learn about dating after being widowed the second time. I had no clue about dating before this and with the advent of online dating and all that, I knew I needed help!) for those who might be interested: http://youngwidowedanddating.com/events/

 

I did make the suggestion of getting together first by saying something like 'We should meet up for coffee or lunch or something!'; my NG gave me his #, I gave him mine. He called me. It's all about how interested you are as you said, jgib. I was VERY interested in him from what I saw in his profile and the fact that we had good written communication, so I was willing to step out of what little comfort zone I had 

[jgib]

Thanks anneal, will check that site out. 

[arneal]

Most welcome, jgib!

[Drafter]

Wow,

Reading through this post has really enlighten me.... I guess in a strange way I'm one of those guys that prefers to chat. Not for any reasons other than I don't want to seem pushy and in a way I know I'm not ready to really start dating. At most I am looking for some company and wouldn't mind meeting someone just for coffee.

With the exception this online group and another, I've had no luck with being able to really talk / chat and express my feelings. For awhile I sort of was being overwhelmed with bereavement sites or groups or being involved with a religious groups and they all expected me to just show up. The issue with that is I'm still working full-time (just cant take time off to go to a daytime meeting), so that only leaves the weekends.

 

Anyway, I will keep what I've read in mind so I don't become one of those guys that is online texting, or chatting for months with someone...

[arneal]

It's all a process, Drafter. As you read through the boards and see more of our collective and individual histories, you will note that we are all at different places along this path. Some of us got out there and tried to connect sooner than others, some are interested but don't feel ready, others are tired of trying for now and are taking a break. This is a great place for 'sounding off' where other groups (virtual and otherwise) just don't fit

[Christopher]

A: Get technology out of the way ASAP. 1-3 days at most, 30 minutes at least.

B: Any time after that first 30 minutes

 

I seldom find anyone that fits into that window. It's either "Let's meet right now!" or it's "I want to chat for 6 months and ask you for money through Western Union every day or two"

[Drafter]

I seldom find anyone that fits into that window. It's either "Let's meet right now!" or it's "I want to chat for 6 months and ask you for money through Western Union every day or two"

 

Chris,

You are definitely right... for some reason there is no in-between.

[Redcat]

Read "The Rules.". There are two books.  The second book gives tips for online dating.  Good info and two great books to read when you get back in the dating game.