Hello,
My husband passed suddenly on November 18, 2016, at age 50. We still have pending on cause of death, as he died at home while the boys and I were at school and after school activities. Waiting on toxicology, which could show something, or not.
I have two boys, one in grade 12 and the other in grade 10. I think this is harder on them than it is on me. I don't feel so much sadness as I do guilt and anger. Sometimes I feel sad because I'm tired and instead of doing 95% of stuff 95% of the time, I'm doing everything. Then I feel guilty about asking my teens to help more. LH was sick and on disability and depressed for most of the last ten years, so I don't know how that's affecting my grief process. I was kind of checked out from being married, I guess. Part of me feels like I have been given a new opportunity on a new path, and part of me is wishing that I could go back and work harder on my marriage. When I feel like I have a new chance at life ( I'm 41), I still feel guilty, like I'm betraying LH's memory.
Not sure what else to add, but hoping for support as I make this journey with my kids.
Thanks,
L