Mangomom

I act clueless about domestic stuff around the ladies at work. It's a chance to enjoy a little female conversation even if it is only about a recipe or laundry advice.

 

This struck me as quite funny.  Care to share the recipes?  Or do you not even use them, you just listen

My current relationship may be coming to end but the thought of giving up the sex and intimacy is really difficult.  I'm not a casual sex kinda gal, I need that level of intimacy and connection.  With this guy it's all there.  Eyes locked, looking deep into each other's soul, like there is no one else in the world and no where else either of us would rather be.  Sigh... And the kissing, I could kiss him for hours.  Why do other life obstacles have to get in the way???

I could have written this a few months ago. ((Hugs))

Call me old fashioned but I really want to just snuggle down and sleep with a warm body next to me. Legs and arms touching and intertwined a bit.  Or rolling over and spooning back against him.  Slowly waking in the morning because of the sleepy movement beside me.  Of course what would happen before sleep and after waking would certainly count as "real sex, what do I need", but no one here needs those details spelled out.

azjane, I believe this is what Sally was referring to. Here's a bunch of bumper stickers from a 2014 post:

 

1. Red, bled, and dead ? nobody rides free.

 

2. My other car is a Hearse.

 

3. If you can read this, you?re about to meet my spouse.

 

4. This vehicle stops at all widowbagos.

 

5. Warning: driver has widow brain

 

6. 10-4, dead buddy.

 

7. You have NO idea how fucking lucky you are.

 

7a. Try raising three honor students by yourself!

 

8. My baby?s in Heaven, but I went to Hell

(Shameless promotion)

 

9. I brake for hysterical sobbing.

 

10. Heaven took back the angel it was missing.

 

11. I have no idea where I?m going.

 

12. Happy people suck.

 

Jenni's info is correct, the station will be open again by St. Pat's. Forgive me, folks - irony once again is supplying unprecedented payback. I'm coping pretty well with the dead. It's the living who are killing me.

 

See ya soon - congrats and thanks for the board. And thank you as always to all you precious listeners.

I need a micro bus because I want one of each bumper sticker.  Can you have them ready for the nyc bago?  It IS my birthday weekend, you know 😜

Thanks everyone for your replies and support.  I was really caught off guard by the rush of uncontrolled crying.  I am SO not like that.  Poor kid thought I was crying about him leaving.  I told him that we raised him knowing that he would be moving out to continue his life and I am ecstatic that he is being given the opportunity.  I am just sad because this would have been such a proud moment for his dad.  We then promptly went out and celebrated with a great dinner and dessert 😊

 

I am leary because, of the three letters he got today, the one he wants is about 3 hours away.  I am hoping that he ultimately chooses one of the others that are only an hour.  That way, if he does go in the fall, I can always meet him for dinner when he needs it, and not have to make it an overnight venture.  And potentially, he can come home to meet his therapist regularly if needed.

 

Parenting a grieving child is not for the faint of heart.

I am a maybe but it will depend on whether or not I can keep on top of grading my endless stream of papers and tests.  I might be able to cajole one or two others as well.

Bring them with the answer key and we can all bang them out over lunch! 

Found a place for my kids to crash so it looks like I am in!

PS - how do you make the pictures smaller??

Molly the Boxer (5.5yrs) was Bruno's dog(actually the family dog, but he picked her and she loved him most).  Capote the French Bulldog (2.5 yrs) was rescued for my daughter to have a snuggly puppy after he died.  Brody the Beagle (6 yrs) is our latest addition to the family because, well, why not?

My 17 year old son just received his college acceptance letters today.  I can't stop crying.  I am so happy for him but I am so profoundly sad that his dad isn't here.  This is so unfair.  And now I have to figure out the financials and the logistics by myself - something that was suppose to be his job.  And I am terrified because my son is so emotionally unstable right now that his therapist and I have discussed delaying college until we can get him back on solid ground.  I am just overwhelmed with emotion right now and that is usually not me.  Thanks for letting me vent here.

I would travel to CO!  I have friends outside of Denver and I always told my husband that if we moved again I would want it to be there. 😉

Of course this got me to think about DH and believe it or not it brought me comfort that he didn't survive and was left in a living hell.  Of course a second later I felt ashamed for thinking that way!!  I would give anything to have him back.

I feel the same way.  If my DH would have survived, he would have been severely handicapped.  Going from vibrant and full of life to that would have been harder for him to accept than the impact of his death on his family.  And then I feel like hell for even thinking that his death was better.  Because it most certainly was not.

 

I'm glad your mother is recuperating so well.

Beautiful.  Bothe picture and your sentiment.  Tears are allowed, let them happen.  What Steven King book?  I am a huge fan 😊

I think the third one (my vote) is the best option.  You are putting it out there with no question of intent.  You say that's not working?

And, I totally get the panic leaving unlimited.  For me, it was more because I had it for so long, it felt like giving something up.  Ok, I'm done now.

I would ask the carrier if they have any specials.  When I upgraded to an iPhone 6 they were running a double data special and I got 4gb for the price of 2gb.  That said, I have yet to go over 2 gb.  Consider your usage over the last few months to determine if you will end up paying overages.

 

Another option would be to see if there is a newer iPhone that someone wants to sell to you.  Make sure it is from the same carrier, because you can't cross carriers with your phone.  My son broke his phone and was not ready for an upgrade.  He was able to get an iPhone 5s for under $200.

Tight hugs as you ride this latest wave out.  You're in the middle of an exciting transition with your new job and I know for me, the good moments can bring the grief on as much as the bad ones.  He should be here to congratulate you and support and it just plain sucks that he's not.

 

This is when we need a like button.  I agree completely with what she said!  Breathe easy and keep moving forward.

Oh. My. GOD!  I am in over my head and apparently my deadline is 3/15.  I called the financial planner today and he assured me this would be easy.  I am the same person who glazes over every 4 months in his office when we review documents.  I feel a panic attack coming on.  Damn you, Bruno!  You left me with this shit!! 

At almost 2-? years out, I am a shadow of the person I was when Bruno died. I still am friends with many of them, but I don't need them like I use to. And they most times just can't relate. I posted in another thread that it seems my close friends are now the other broken or hurt people who are different because of their situation. They have much more compassion and understanding because they have evolved as well.

I also had a relationship end after almost two years. He was a completely different person that DH, and my polar opposite. We met at a grief group and he was a little further out than me. We were drawn to each other through our shared grief. It was a rough, uncertain relationship that had extreme emotional highs and lows. We tangled grief and new love so tightly that we beat a dead horse for quite a long time.  I actually said to him during a break up that it would be easier if he was dead because then I couldn't keep going back because it was comfortable (the things you can only say to a widow!!). I know that we were together as part of our journey. I know that he was what I needed at the time. I cherish all of the time spent.  He definitely helped me to know that I do want to love again and be someone's other half.  It also helped me narrow down what I want and need from a partner. Growing up with your spouse, you learn each other as you go. Meeting and dating someone now is different because you have your ways and so do they. The art of compromise is much more profound then the compromises you make over 20 years.

Agreed. I hate the word strong, too. I can't pick up a car...  My most treasured friends are he ones who have experienced their own trauma and know that nothing said will help.  So they listen. They cry, too. They are there. I can't stand the cheerleaders because they are also the ones who hear your vent then tell everyone what you are going through to seem self important (kinda like a hs cheerleader 😉)

I finally clicked on the article to read this.  It was an interesting read. Ladies, do you find that husbands avoid you like the plague?  DH and I were very social people with a wide circle of friends and the conversation was never just the wives or just the husbands. I went to a dinner dance for the first time since Bruno died a few weeks ago. Dressed up, heels, yada yada.  The women were so excited to see me and catch up. The men stood away and avoided eye contact. I was stumped. I know these men!  I joked and laughed with them for years. All of a sudden I am to be avoided?  I'm not going to bite!  (Well, I wouldn't bite a married man, at least 😉)

For the first time in 2-? years I am in a place where I am ok with being alone.  I don't want to be alone, but I am not fearing it.  i was in a relationship pretty early out that has died a slow uncomfortable death.  It hurt like hell, but I am already able to see it as a gift, a stepping stone to show me what I need and want, and what I have to offer.

 

I kinda almost might maybe feel like I have my shit together these days.  How about that!?!

MAc, you reminded me of my husband's boss who came to visit in the days between the death and funeral.  y mom was there and she is overweight, out of shape, smoker and frequently eats McDonalds 3 times a day.  Boss says, as I am walking him out to the car, "We use to talk about your mom's health a lot.  Why the fuck is she here and he is dead?"  I was like...  Umm...  excuse me?

Like!