HvnBound

Yay, lmsmdm joined!

Just checked and you were no longer there, sent you a PM though.

There are 6 of us in chat now, 1 is idling, come chat!

Wow, Too Soon, I feel your pain. I know what you mean, my three year was on May 4 and this month I have had some insights and some moments when I was sad when I had no idea, then realized the date. Today for instance, was sad, realized it might have been because this (the 17th) would have been our 24th wedding anniversary and in fact, lost a dear, sweet wid sis today. Hugs TooSoon!!!

Congrats Maureen!!! I was so blessed to have finally met you in person after chatting with you in the chat room for years. You are an inspiration and helped me in so many ways to live my life to the fullest. I am so proud of you for getting through school and of graduating, wow, is all I have to say.

Hi, got off work after midnight and found out one of my wid sisters passed away today, needless to say I am definitely wide awake today and now in chat alone. I know it is late though.

I just got off work after midnight then drove home to check out Facebook and one of my wid sisters posted about LeslieG's passing. I was lucky enough to have met her in the chat room back in 2012 and we became FB friends soon after I joined FB to find out about the 2013 Fort Lauderdale bago. She and I have talked on the phone numerous times over these three years and last chatted on FB chat on the 5th. She came to southern Illinois to visit her DH's grave and helped me when I finally visited my DH's grave for the first time since the funeral, she will be greatly missed by me and I know many, many others. She had a sweet spirit and was this amazing friend to me. I am sad today but am also happy that she is with her wonderful Jack. I will miss you Leslie!!!

I am a big time blues music fan and once, in the 90's I was at a campground in Carowinds a theme park in NC/SC and I heard the best blues guitarist play....but my DH did not feel at that time that it was worth the $10 cost so we camped while listening to this master play. I will be forever happy that I heard him play the blues but always, always wished I could see him in action one day. I hope BB soars with the eagles while playing his tunes. I am sad. RIP BB King!!!

How lucky am I? RobFTC & Manicino are in chat with me, so happy to catch up

All alone in chat....hope someone can join soon

Hope this works....this is my guy and I at Memorial Park in Jefferson City, MO right before we ride to the state capital for the May Motorcycle Safety and Awareness Rally on May 6th...

I can relate to this....I drove to Florida in December 2012 after meeting two widowers from the chat room in Arkansas, then drove to my Dad's in Florida. I think what worked in my favor was the simple fact that the discussion on what I should do for Christmas was discussed in chat and I agreed to meet them, took a shower, packed and off in my minivan I went Back then I did a lot of traveling on a whim, so glad I did. DH and I always drove together to Florida before, this was my first time alone. I have to tell you that when I saw the Welcome to Florida sign, I felt so amazingly proud of myself!!! I did it alone. I admit, I cried sometimes on that trip with memories, but I would not change that for the world. Good luck to you and you can do it, it will hopefully make you feel proud of yourself because it really is a step forward. Don't worry about the tears, everyone should understand. Hugs to you!

Update - spoke to the buyer today and he admitted that he had no clue about what to offer me since the prices of homes in this area vary widely. He is more familiar with homes in the St Louis area, not for homes in IL. He was involved in a car accident and just got back to work this week. He said he would contact another company that buys homes in my town and will have them contact me. (I sort of knew he would not make an offer) I posted on a Facebook yard sale page about the we buy houses people and actually got a lead on a realtor who works with different home investors and we spoke today. She said she will call me in the morning to discuss exactly what I am needing. One of the tips I got was that I could actually sell it as is on my own with a realtor's help. I just want $40-50 and I will move, if the electrical was brought up to code and it was primed/painted, I could get about $75K. I am just so frustrated. I will try to remain patient but it is so hard. I just want an offer and then a check and I can move from here, sorry to keep talking about this but it is the one thing holding me back. If I can leave here then I can get a better job because I will be one hour west of here where jobs are plentiful. I plan on moving in with my guy (plans have changed) so that means sharing costs of a home instead of handling it all on my own. Thanks for listening to me vent!

Now chatting with DonnaK, thank you Donna for letting me know you were on.

(I had this novel all typed up earlier but when I hit preview I got sent back to the login screen and had to redo) Today it is three years. Wow, three years. Let that sink in a bit. I just did. I lit a candle, raised some OJ, lit a cig at 7:35. I said Hi Bob, happy third year in Heaven. That was it for the celebration. I have had some cool signs this weekend and everything will slowly happen the way I feel it will deep in my soul. It is still getting better. DH said I would never survive without him, but I did, I am and I will. My life is totally different. I am still trying to figure out things. I am not used to not getting screamed at for my ADD acting up issues. Very cool! Loving this new life. I loved DH but we had issues and I will always love him, he loved me in his way but was flawed, but so was I. I have not felt this type of love in my life and I am happy. I just have to get the house sold. I am going to downsize even more than previously thought. I no longer have the birthday or anniversary cards - gone. His clothes are gone. I am a more direct person than I ever was before, I am a survivor and I will thrive and will do all the things on my bucket list and I will live! (Still true about me, posted this at the 13 week mark) Keep on keeping on and I hope the best for all of us. I have watched others in my timeline to grow and to live too and they are an inspiration to me, so have been some of the older ones from the YWBB, thank you for inspiring me!!!

I had to reply. Today is my third and I am about to post about my experiences and then will probably take a bit of a break. I admire those wids with kids because I cannot possibly imagine what it is like to have to deal with the grief and with the kids. I just had me to be concerned about. Many hugs to you MikeR!!!

In 2005 or 2006 DH bought me a puppy stuffed animal, he chose the name puppy, I will call it P from now on. DH would hold P and would make P kiss me and lick my cheeks. He would also make P ask me for a kiss and I would comply since it made me feel a bit like a kid, that was a welcome relief at times. We went overseas in May 2006 and DH insisted that we take P on the trip with us, for a good luck charm he said, I thought it was odd but I agreed. DH was a barber, police officer, chief of police, then a position unknown to me, college student, computer operator, data clerk, temp employee, disabled, in that order. He went thru horrible things while in the position unknown to me which caused his undiagnosed PTSD, this happened in the sixties and I met him in a different state in the nineties. He had to go thru multiple surgeries. He had an amazing memory until January 31, 2012. My memory has always sucked. DH died in May 2012 at the age of 67. In 2008 a vendor brought everyone in the office a stuffed animal that looked like a bird so I brought it home, DH immediately called it Tweety (T) and said P now had a little brother. When I was at work DH took a pic of P & T and the pic was developed and he put it in a collage in our home. Whenever DH would mow the grass when he was about to finish, he would get P & T and would put them in the fanny pack that hung on the steering wheel of the riding mower and would ride the two around. I wondered why. At this time DH was falling asleep when sitting outside in the sunlight. My MIL was diagnosed with dementia when she was 82 after a scan and I have wondered why DH acted this way with these two stuffed animals. Do you think it was dementia? PTSD? Heart failure? What?

Yay, now chatting with Gabzmom & BaffledKing.

I was in chat with an idling Gabzmom, then got kicked out, but it appears she is no longer online, bummer.

Wow, MTK, what a true blessing of a friend you are to not saw those things most of us heard in the very beginning from all of the DGIs in our lives. I am so glad that you felt that sense of peace during a difficult time.

@serpico - That is one of my fave movies of all time! Scent of a Woman, loved it.

Update - I called the guy today and he said he still has not run the comps and will get back to me tomorrow. I just reviewed my finances and think I will even accept $40K. I just want out of here so bad! I figured out how much I have to spend each month for bills and it is time to go. Tonight I had to work at the stadium and all of my friends and my guy went out to a battle of the bands show and I missed out, I am tired of missing out on things because I am stuck here and work at a low paying job. If I can sell my house for at least $40K then no worries about money for a while and I would no longer be 100% responsible for all bills in this big ole house. This place is still overwhelming to me and I am done. Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers - hopefully tomorrow is the day!

(((Maureen))) I remember you telling me about your FIL and know that he was a wonderful man, so sorry for your loss and the family's loss as well.

So sorry for your loss and for your dear friend's family's loss as well (((MTK)))

Update. No offer today. He said he has to run comps (why didn't he do that before?) and explained that the smoke remediation will cost some money and that he will tell me his ballpark figures next week. He also said there are companies in my area that buy in my town and they might offer me more, so now the waiting game. I am disappointed because I wanted an offer today but hopefully the comps will work in my favor. Thank you all for your good wishes!