HvnBound

RobFTC, smabify, AC and I are in chat now...fun!!!

Mac, what a gift she gave to you I remember transferring DH from the wheelchair to the couch one last time and DH holding on to me for longer than usual during a transfer and he told me I love you. Little did I know that those words would be some of the last important words I ever heard him say.......

This is from the ywbb...about my first bago. At this point I had already had two minibagos, first with one other wid and then another small one at 8 weeks out with about 10 wids... Went to my first big "Bago" - wow Registered: Mon May 28 2012 Posts: 1344 Loc: everywhere Hello all, A dear friend on this site convinced me that I needed to go to the Ozarks 'Bago, so I went. The first day was admittedly a bit intimidating since everyone seemed to know everyone else but...they were all just so sweet and kind and understanding. Especially when I told them of how far I was. I have not felt that love and kindness since my dh was okay. OMG - There are actual widows and widowers that are now - remarried....really did not expect that. You probably do not know this but my DH did not wear cologne but he did wear a particular brand of shower wash and - yes, you guessed it, one of my condo - mates happened to wash up with that same shower wash - what did I do, you ask? I searched high and low for something to get rid of the fragrance - Lysol spray - and sprayed the entire shower area with it so maybe, just maybe, I would not smell that smell.......but then after it was dry, I figured the smell was gone, so I took a shower and admittedly - for some reason - opened the body wash and smelled...I was taken back to some absolutely amazing memories...in the shower...read between the lines ok?.... About 1.5 hrs later, I am chilling on the deck with all of my dh's fave songs playing - oddly enough, and this same person with this wonderful "smell" sits beside me and I relive memories of me and my dh on the lake and the ocean...I tell this sweet lady to my left of what in the world is going on and this sweet soul offers to comfort me, I tell her no and I have to go inside the big house...thankfully when I return this person with the smell has left and I realize that I have to "escape" to the condo...the music is hitting so hard - so I return to the condo and only listen to hard R & R which is "safe" because dh hated hard rock. It got better within the hour...I did not cry but if others did, it is totally okay, we all have our own journeys -- - as usual, my posts are always so doggone long!!!! We lit up paper lanterns and as I let go I said I love you sweetie...what a wonderful thought. I watched this lantern go forever and told him I will love him forever and ever just like how all of my cards to him read. From what I saw, there is hope for all of us, even those of us that do not EVER believe that lightning can hit us twice...there might, possibly, maybe be hope...I will advise if it happens for me -5 - 10 yrs from now...Take care. ---- Tue Aug 07 2012 12:18 PM Another first - not major but still... HvnBound Online Member Registered: Mon May 28 2012 Posts: 1344 Loc: everywhere I went to the bago in the Ozarks, brought my bathing suit that my dh picked out for me. Last time I wore it was on vacation with him in 2009...and no, I did not even try it on, threw it into my bag at the last second. My lady condo-mates tried this weekend for me to join them in the lake, I used the excuse that I just don't like swimming in the lake but then Sunday night, they convinced me to put it on and to go swimming in the pool since it will be another first. So I put it on and wow, it was actually sort of loose, not like it was in '09, the moon was odd looking and when walking up to the pool heard songs from a bar that he and I used to dance to. I took it as a sign of sorts that I am supposed to continue my process of healing and continue doing things I only did with him, without him. ----- Bagos are the best, you are with others who truly do get it, we laugh, we reminisce and we laugh

I found the ywbb at two weeks out, when I was totally lost and felt so sad and I am a believer so I picked Heaven Bound since that is where I hope to end up, shortened it to HvnBound to make it easier and everyone usually just calls me HB for short.

I don't think I am an empath but I do have great intuition. I don't think I ever told this before but the day before DH died I saw one black crow on the top of our house and my first thought was my MIL telling me that if I see a single black crow, it means death is coming. I ignored that thought quickly but sure enough, the very next day he was gone.

I know Canadiangirl! This is what I just read - YWBB Notice - March 20, 2015 After thirteen and a half years, the time has come to shut down the YWBB. When the youngwidow.org website together with its bulletin board, which came to be known as the YWBB, was started, it was the first of its kind - the original website exclusively dedicated to young widows and widowers. It was created as a place for the young widowed to connect, a community where they could find understanding and validation and begin to recover, reclaim and rebuild their lives. We would like to think the YWBB succeeded in that mission - if it did, it was because of the members of the community who shared their experiences and feelings, who showed compassion and understanding, who provided support and encouragement, who reassured each other that they weren't crazy and they weren't alone, who were beacons of hope and inspiration. The decision to shut down the YWBB was a difficult but necessary one. We are sad to see it end, but with so many types of social media available these days we are confident that others will step in and create new communities for the young widowed. The YWBB will be gone, but the friendships made there and the impact it had will be enduring - and we have faith that the same will be true for the new communities. Today and always, we wish hope and healing to all young widows and widowers.

I just received a reply from LostInLaQuinta

@lmsmdm as soon as I saw your post I logged on, you were not on but right now Gabzmom and Tweety are on with me, hope to catch you tomorrow!

Questions replied to my message on the ywbb and she will post again as soon as time allows.

@Carey, yes, it is entertaining. It is a family type atmosphere and so far no DGI comments. I cannot wait til the season starts and hope this year they make it to the World Series! I am a huge Cardinals fan.

Hey all, I sent messages to Tybec1 & Questions but no replies and I hope both are here now. Tybec1 - I go to your area in MO every weekend and hope we can connect, I go to the O'Fallon/Wentzville/St Charles area every weekend. Questions, I hope you are here since I really miss your posts about your work in your home. Sorry all, just a bit of insomnia hitting me and I just went thru 5 pages of messages on the ole ywbb. A few pages to go then I will start saving my messages for my memoir. Take care!

Hey all, I am currently suffering from a (hopefully) temporary stint of insomnia and hope to get sleepy soon. I got my old job at the Busch Stadium working at the retail store. I worked today and will work tomorrow. I keep wishing for a job in my old field, being a senior workers compensation adjuster with the amazing pay but at this point in my life, I will, I will - promise - will be totally happy with my current job paying just a hair over the minimum wage. I have struggled and yet, I have survived. How in the h*ll is this possible? DH told me multiple times that I 'could not live without him', really? I am the one who had the great paying job because I worked my way up. Here it is, almost 3 years later and guess what? I am surviving on just a few part time jobs. I would love to find out what it would be like to deal with my old pay! So, if any of you happen to be visiting St Louis and are going to the ballpark this year, please look me up. I will hopefully be working in the store. Go CARDS!!! I am still hoping for a better paying job, gosh, I would so love to earn $26/hr again instead of the $7.77 I am currently earning but I am surviving.

Thank you Baylee627! Have a wonderful evening.

My first relationship was with a widower I met at a minibago in Iowa in 2012, it did not work out, he was not ready and I was but looking back I am so happy that he was not ready because now I am such a different person than the one I was back in 2012. I went contra dancing to feel alive and then finally got enough guts to do the online dating thing. The only ones I dated were divorced but something happened in November 2013 when I met this great guy that I am still in a relationship with. He treats me so amazingly and I hope that this one lasts because he is so sweet. In the beginning I thought only a wid would get it but others get it too.

I love Lewis! Met him at WGW in 2012

@Baylee627 please post here, I am trying to post a pic as my avatar from a Facebook pic, guess that would be the hard drive? Believe it or not, I was the computer whiz wherever I worked before but not that good with pics Thank you!!!

This post is timely because I think I figured out how to do my profile pic....not sure if it is working though so I might need some pointers too. I tried to upload a Facebook pic as my avatar here. TIA for any advice if it has not worked yet. Nope, it is not showing up on this end, does anyone see anything? Thanks.

I had two different documents the last few months of DH's life, one paper said to try everything to save him, he signed it in Dec 2011 and then another that said DNR, signed in March 2012....I kept both with me at all times hoping and praying I never had to use either but I never did since his heart failed. I admire those of you that had to make that tough and horrible choice. (((DonnaK)))

The only one I can think of right now is Urgent by Foreigner, great sax solo.

(((Tweety76))). I will be thinking of you on Sunday. I enjoyed our chat tonight!!!!

I had one guy ask me if I put out on the first date and I said no and he called me a prude, another guy told me he liked his women "natural", needless to say, I never went out with either.

After a few messages back and forth I would give them my Google Voice number so we could talk. If we became an item then I would simply say I changed my phone number and would give them my real phone number.

I sent PMs to those on my buddy list and one person has read my message and she will be joining today

I hope you get it!!!

Geez ladies, I had no idea that it still might help so never mind then. It makes me happy that it will live on to help others. Thank you.