swilson

It's too early for me to start a wholesale tossing of anything connected to her. I like all your ideas on storing, sorting and prioritizing, just don't have a lot of motivation to do very much of it right now.

{hug} It's always days like these that emphasize the absence of our mates. The surge of painful emotions just leave me feeling drained. Glad we have supporting friends here to unload some of our feelings and understand the hurt.

{hug} widowat33, I think it would be awful to be fully aware he's gone and yet be dreaming of pleading with him to pull over. Like robunknown, most of my dreams have been good and comforting except for one that was so vivid I expected her to be lying next to me as I woke up only to be hit with reality again  :'(

Not by proxy but I've had things fall through the cracks or a deadline missed now & then. Usually I'll apologize and explain to them it's different trying to manage things alone, so in a sense - play the widower card. Most people understand which is appreciated. A lot of you further along seem to have it together and that gives me hope about getting on track.

I'm sorry for your pain LostMyCharles, it's like nothing most of us have ever felt before. Keep reaching out and remember to take care of yourself. This forum has been a beacon of light in my cloudy journey.

My experience sounds a lot like marjoe. We grew up in the same small town with the funeral director and I never really thought too much about the process. All the family was pleased with his work and since he's the coroner, he was with DW practically every minute up to the cemetery trip.

Does IRL mean "in real life"?

Apologies in advance, I'll confess to buying some dumb crap off eBay 

I always take a plastic bag to pick up doggy droppings and usually make an attempt to collect some neighborhood trash in same bag along the way. Never forgot the old slogan "Every Litter bit hurts"

Following, I'm just under a days drive from any of those.

I know this wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea but I'm going to have red ink added to the heart of my memorial tattoo on our 1st wedding anniversary apart.

Don't know about who does pillows but we're looking at Project Repat for a memory blanket made from tee shirts. If anyone else would be interested here's the link.

http://www.projectrepat.com/?gclid=COnGueWv5MQCFUU8gQodFBIA9g

I'm sorry keeptrying. I've read that the trauma of a loved ones death often goes beyond what's considered normal shock. You may get a type of numbness, deadening or shutting off of emotions. It feels like, "this couldn't be happening to me" and may feel that way for months. Praying for your comfort & peace <><.

wnella, thanks for the encouragement. I can't deny how much losing her has changed my life. Like you I'm blessed to be able to love, openly grieve and be loved by those around me. Sharing your hope that this journey will get better, take care.

You could create a memorial for a loved one on www.findagrave.com. It's a way to tell your story in your own way and share their memory with everyone. You can leave virtual flowers on those special days or just whenever you feel like it. Joining findagrave is easy and free. The link below is a memorial for a friends daughter killed by a drunk driver.

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=92133055

Thank you MrsTim85 for kick starting this. I don't know if this recipe would work for those who prefer Egg beaters. It's kind of nice to have these made ahead and in the morning stumble into kitchen for a reheat.

Egg muffins

Ingredients

Spring onion as required

Chopped tomatoes as required

Onion as required

Cheese as required

Green chillies

Fresh coriander

You can add chicken or other lean meats, spinach, ricotta cheese, bell peppers, and lots more as per your taste.

Eggs 6 beaten with 2 tbsp milk, black pepper to taste

Instructions

-Preheat oven at 200C

-Grease your muffin tin

-Add vegetables of your choice along with cheese (if you choose), pour beaten egg mixture on it.

-Place muffin pan on the center rack of a preheated oven and bake for 20-25 minutes or until muffins are light brown, puffy, and the eggs are set.

-Let muffins cool for a few minutes before removing from the muffin pan or cups. Loosen gently with knife if they seem to be sticking. Eat immediately or let cool completely and store in plastic bag in refrigerator or freezer.

Oh Michael, your #1 touches my Beetlejuice fantasy. It would have been wonderful if we could have departed at the same instant then hang out together in the afterlife in our house with a quirky new family. Anyway back to real life  :'(

I usually go every week. We have other family & friends buried there so I get to check on several if I want. As soon as the weather is better it will be time to decide on a monument and hope for our sons to have some input on that. I don't feel a connection to her at cemetery like I do at home.

When I do a small job for someone who offers to pay me for the work, I tell them "If you get a chance, please pay it forward." Phrasing it that way doesn't obligate them although I secretly hope it will be a catalyst for something good to happen later.

I'm sorry ColSavMama, these are some excerpts from GriefShare about anger that may be of interest.

" Your anger does need to be expressed, but it must be done slowly and not impulsively. You need to release your anger in a way that is productive for healing and not harmful to others around you. To release your anger does not mean to lash out, to throw a fit, or to lose control of it; releasing your anger involves the open and honest expression of your emotions in a way that is physically, mentally, and emotionally freeing. You can release your anger in the presence of a person who will listen quietly and neither judge nor offer advice. Another healthy way to release anger is to write down every angry thought that comes to mind until you cannot think of another angry sentence to write. Some people find that expressing their anger out loud, and loudly, in a private place is helpful. You can either let anger take control of you and allow it to be your master, or you can deal with your anger and grow in strength and healing."

I have not used the natural herb St. John's Wort but there's some who swear it helps depression.

Haystack Supper---

Soda crackers, crushed

Hamburger, browned, drained and taco seasoning added

Lettuce, chopped

Tomatoes, chopped

Green peppers, chopped

Onions, chopped

Spaghetti or rice or both (cooked until soft)

Put some of each on your plate, one layer at a time. Top with shredded cheese or a homemade cheese sauce. Also good to add is salsa or ranch dressing if you want to.

Thanks for starting this, can't wait to see what others add to the topic.

Brenda, I'm sorry you have lost your wife and for your children. Please don't worry about comparing your loss against the experiences of others. Your concerns are valid and there is a lot of support here, don't know where I would be without this group.

Bluemoon15, I also love it here where no one tells me to get over it, gives unhelpful advice, or offers their insight about how I need to be fixed. I think if healing from this was easy, I would have done it by now. I just want the pain to end but am not convinced it will happen soon. As many say and I believe, get some rest and cut yourself some slack while you slowly adapt to your new reality.

The skillet you slid into the oven to hide from company sets off the smoke detector later in the week when you pre-heat the oven for a TV dinner.  :