Heydear

Good advice. My kids are a little spread out, so I need something that is going to have elements that appeal to different ages. Plus, they bicker like crazy sometimes, and I was (remain) a bit worried my brain will be completely numb by the time it's over. But, it's true - we have not vacationed alone since DH died, and it might be fun to just get away with the four of us. I'm thinking maybe Disney is the way to go. Or a cruise. Or a Disney cruise! I love the idea of seeing the Caribbean. Thank you, guys.. :-)

I?m considering taking the kiddos on a nice vacation this year but am a little concerned about going it completely alone. We could manage it fine and have a good time, although I also think I would be lonely. Traveling with friends/family isn't an option this year. Plus that can be lonely too, because everyone is coupled. I can take them alone, but safety issues are a concern. I like the idea of traveling with other single parents and meeting new people. Unfortunately, the "single parent" travel site I found is hosting a trip to Peru, which is not financially do-able for our family of four. I?m thinking a cruise, a week or so in the Bahamas, or maybe even a trip to a dude ranch out west (we?re in Pa.). Has anyone else dealt with this situation, and how did you handle it? Any suggestions on how to do a full-fledged vacation as an only-parent, while keeping in mind safety, fun, and opportunities to adult conversation. Ugh. Four+ years out from my DHs death and I still am working on the logistics of my "new normal."

I've been thinking of doing something with a non-profit too, but haven't figured out the angle I want to take. My initial inclination was - for lack of a better way to say it - a resource center that helps people navigate the various aspects of young widowhood. But, like you, I'm not sure where to start. We have a non-profit children's grief center in my area though, so I am going to call the director and talk to her. Are there any non-profits in your area you could use as a sounding board?

Oh yes, this sounds familiar. My daughter (recently turned 14) and I lock horns frequently. It's very tiring. There are many days I think, "I'm not sure whether it's going to be her or me, but I'm pretty certain one of us isn't going to make it." If it's any consolation, at about 14, my oldest son was a pain in the butt, too. He is now 15.5 years, and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully, the teenaged selfishness is starting to fade, and maturity is settling in. I read your posts, and it's clear you are an involved and caring father. While my opinion is from afar, I think that - despite today's hard work - the groundwork you're laying today is going to pay off. But in the meantime, you're totally right. This only parenting thing sucks. Good luck!

Another attorney here, and yes, this makes sense. While I'm deeply thankful for my job and want to do well, in my heart I just don't want to work anymore. I'm not sure if this is a lack of ambition or exhaustion (three kids and a full-time job). Regardless, the end result is the same... years of effort and tons of money to pursue a career that no longer has the same meaning it used to. I'm hopeful that one day my interest level will return. :-)

Yes. It is, what it is. It is our children's sad, crappy reality. Sounds like he handled it with good grace though, which is often more than many adults can muster. Kudos to him. On a separate note, what is a cream cheese couple?? I'm guessing it's a rather unflattering generalization, but I have never heard the phrase before. And I'm now currently thinking of raiding the fridge, because you've got me thinking of bagels! Lol!

Billskim, Good for you on the new phone deal. It's amazing what some vendors try to get away with. On the SSDI thing - have you consulted an attorney? If not, please consider it. Typically, disability attorneys do not charge anything up front, and fees are paid out of back-due benefits obtained if you are successful. There's nothing to lose financially by talking to someone, and a lot to be potentially be gained. It's an option that could generate income and make things easier for you. Good luck. Widowhood sucks on so many levels.