Momtojandj

So , I have had a guy that I went out with on a drink meet and greet , 2 years ago ..send me a message on match, and acted like he didn't know me. Then I have an Instagram friend  request from a guy I exchanged cell numbers with, to have him just start flaking so I never went out to meet him.

Then there's a guy I chatted with online the other night, on a free site that said he's rich and a lawyer . Um ok ..

Trying match again .. can we all write a book one day about our stories about online ?  I really think it would be a best seller !

Like others, online isn't easy for me . I'll keep trying though .

Last night was so real . It hit home for sure . Great show !

First sorry you have had to join us. My husband died in 2012. My boys were 12 and 14. After about a year , I suspected the youngest should see someone . He wasn't ready . Didn't want to go back , I honored his request and stopped taking him . I did get my whole family into a grief group . I go into a room with other moms and dads. My sons go into a another room, it's peer support , all in a teen age group . That has been huge we still go . This past summer my youngest asked to go see a counselor , so I found him one . He has gone a few times , and still trying to see if she is the "right fit " for him . It was huge that it was his idea to go.

A couple ideas, let the school know, in my area there is someone at the schools that reach out to the kids . Oldest actually had a group of kids that lost a parent meet during school time with this woman . Look into a group for you both , the support I have gotten is huge , also the peer thing , just so that they know they are not alone is helpful.  Please feel free to reach out if I can help with any other ideas.

Make it go away ! After a hiatus from online , I went back. So far 2 scammers, a lot from states far away . And the topper today I see a guy that looks familiar, because his wife and him come to my gym class . I know both of them . I seriously want to stick pins in my eyes , it would be less painful!

I always wanted to try one of those, but where I live no speed dating anywhere close. Thank you for sharing your story , keep us updated if you match with "15" !

Sunshine, I like reading the tips as well . I seem to do horrible at online, but when meet people randomly seem to do alittle  better. However it's winter and I'm going to turn into a hermit .lol

Rob.. got a chuckle out of you not happy with a date that likes our new president. Funny .

It's interesting, I always said no smokers . Very early on , I met someone out and he did smoke, we dated for about two months . I would prefer a non smoker , but a good friend said you could be casting someone aside just because he smokes .

Also the young kids, I could date someone with young kids but not someone who wants more kids.

I have taken a break the last few months from online. Was semi hanging with a good guy friend of mine. However I think it's time ( after holidays) to look online again , hopefully for someone more for my future. Anyway .... tell me some questions you ask when you start chatting ? What are some "deal breakers "? Do you automatically eliminate anyone , let's say that smokes ?

  I have done online before, not with much luck . I know everyone's expirence is diffferent , just looking for different perspectives. 

I think plenty of fish is trying to tell me something. Tried going on line thru phone and iPad and nothing, won't let me on. Two days now .lol

On a separate note, and I don't remember noticing before, but you're in Jersey? That's home for me (born in Cape May County, went to Rutgers New Brunswick, lived in DE and PA for a bit, met second LH in Salem County ...).

Yes! Born and raised in NJ . I'm 20 minutes from Seaside . The only thing I don't love is NJ winters ..

Ok, I might clearly need a new plan for online.  In two days , I have had two guys just want to chat and seems they are both hinting .. Let's hook up. Ok no thanks .. Next .. Then I just received an email that says .. You look better as a blonde... That's it , no hi .. Just to the point . Ugh .

I can't add to much, everyone said such wonderful things. I will offer you a hug . My boys were 12 and 14 when John died. It's four years today , I struggle all the time that he's not here . I talk about him all the time, make sure my kids see johns family as much as possible and I try my very best . Ps.. Can I just add I had to take on that dad talk to kids role , since I wasn't sure what they knew and guess what ? The boys and I have a very open talking relationship . 

Coming up on four years this week. Every year when anniversary would approach , I shut down . I relive everything , like I'm going thru it again .  This year , so far it is on my mind, but I'm able to refocus and not dwell on the bad . I'm hopeful I get thru this week and this continues. It's nice for a change to think about it all and not have it take me into a horrible funk.

Needy,

I actually don't mind giving my number out . I find it weeds out people fast . Also once I have their number I can google and try to get some info. Usually not a lot since it's a cell , but I have gotten lucky on a few . Like the guy who said he was 50 and separated. When I put in his cell number in Google , it went to a resume which led to other things and he was 55 and married still. Hmmmm... Second thought, I get your trust issues .. Sorry ! If it doesn't feel right , don't exchange numbers .

So, I pretty much have my profile hidden 90 percent of the time anymore . Tired of the games that go on ..  Anyway .. Happen to go on the other night and I received a message . So , off to check his profile and he smokes . I respond , nice to hear from you however I prefer to not date smokers , good luck . He responds , ok your so beautiful I will quit . I respond , hold on while I step out of the bull@@ you just left . He says , no really I will quit for you .

Same night , receive a message from a guy I already went out with over a year ago . He doesnt remember me, probably because on the date he stared at my boobs all night .

Looks like my online is on pause . I need to go get new pictures done, I will attach my new look .. Went for a new look, dark hair . Ignore glasses , I don't wear them . However, could you imagine showing up with such a drastic look on a date lol

Rob, no words . Beautifully written . Hugs to you :-)

Thank you ❤️ I survived .. My goal was to run more than walk this year and I did.. However every body part is screaming right now! Surrounded by friends and family I was fine , we had some light drizzle , but a nice cool day . He was and is so loved .. And ironically would've hated the attention .

Today is the third annual race. In honor of my husband , the money raised goes towards a scholarship. I woke up sad, sick ,nervous, anxious.  He has been on my mind more so . Most of his family comes in for this . Just needed to share , send me some online hugs .

Arneal, I'm ok with distance , because where I live I realize I need to be more realistic and expand the distance. He's the one that said he believes I'm too far. Then emails a few times , no mention of meeting, so I wrote him off as he wants a pen pal and that's not for me.

Justme2.... He assumes by my pictures and my profile, that I'm a great girl. The reason I keep going back and trying online is because I have to believe there is someone out there for me , and the chances of meeting someone in real life is just as hard.. So try all avenues .

So I had a guy email me on match , say I'm a great girl , loves my profile but he's worried about distance . He's maybe an hour away . He emails me a few times, I'm thinking um ok why are you chatting with me , if you feel distance is an issue . Then he stopped. Honestly I don't care. My new horrible attitude. Sigh .

Sunshine .. Ok the 18 year old.. Ugh! And the ghosting guy ? I don't get it .

Second date today , really wanted to feel a spark, chemistry and nothing ....Sigh . I tried. Now to tell him .. :-(

Interesting article.

 

I almost bailed on the "God is not all powerful" statement.

 

I'm glad I read on to the end.

 

Mike

Glad you read it through . I don't know the woman who wrote it , but for me who struggled so much after my husband was killed , it was the only way in my mind I could come to some peace .

Renee