ssdad

Agreed. And all-encompassing. And always at least in the back of your mind if not the front. And forever leaving a void in your hear.

I'm so sorry for your pain. It's been 12 weeks since my husband died. Lots of numbness and going through the motions for me. I am finding that everyone has a different experience. I don't know if it's helpful, but I have found comfort in various websites and books and just talking to friends. It's still shit on the weekends and at night and driving alone. Hugs and just a note to say I commiserate with you.

I hear you. It's been 12 weeks now since my husband died, and I seem to be crying more at nights and on the weekends. So sad. Every time I realize the enormity of it or when I come across something that reminds me of him or if I am driving home or out in my car .... wailing. I hope counseling brings you some peace.

I wonder if you wouldn't mind sharing one or more of the many nice memories you have of your spouse. There are of course so many that make up the blanket of our time together, none more significant than the other. Some that pop into my mind: our hikes around local parks and walks in our neighborhood, rollerblading with him at the city park, holding hands whenever we went out, his surprise party for me on my 40th birthday, him at his beloved coffee machine making a morning latte, sitting on our deck eating dinner from the grill, how he was so good with little kids ...

Thanks for sharing, Karin. It feels like we are many people when we do things now. Or maybe people with many different takes on things. I wonder how he would have been at the event. I wonder how the non widow me would be. I wonder what people are really thinking. ...

Thank you, everyone.

Our 21st anniversary would have been on the 4th, 10 weeks after he died. I had plans to go to our favorite Indian food restaurant alone. A dear friend invited herself, and I was glad for the distraction. Hope you had moments of peace that day.

Just wanted to write and say thanks for everyone who contributes to posts. It's comforting and helpful to read things from others who are going through similar sadness. It's been 11 weeks today since my husband died in a plane crash. He was 53. I am going through the waves and roller coasters of emotions and numbness and grief and shock at varying times. I am pretty good at putting on my game face when I am at my HS teaching, but it's anyone's guess when the wailing will start if I am driving or home alone (no kids and almost 21 years married). Glad I found this site.