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Today I went grocery shopping with child in trolley and all was not so bad , when I spotted a pile of sausages in the meat section. They were the ones A really liked. It caught me unaware. I stood there gasping for air, with the oh so well known suffocating feeling and tears were falling down my face. For a bloody sausage! So much for triggers ,they are lurking everywhere. I could cry for about anything anyway these days. Trigger-galore !!

 

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You never know where the triggers are going to come from.  I still can't hear Sultans of Swing without tearing up.  It played during our first date and I could not resist the air guitar temptation.  How is that for a first impression on a first date.  Conversations ends and fingers flicking all over the place for the duration of the song.  And there was a second date, a minor miracle.

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Cherries and sausages and sultans!! Damn. Thanks guys, you are nice. My next trip to the supermarket was not so bad. I believe it so much depends on the daily state of mind and in my case definitively on the amount of sleep  had during the night (which is chronically not enough).

  In the meantime I must say that the sausage was a minor incident, after having seen two young men being resuscitated after drowning accidents at the same time, just during exactly the hour I went to the river (where everybody swims) fora swim with a friend .... I wish there were only sausages now....

A drowned and there was nobody there to resuscitate him, but the two young men on Sunday died too.  Damn, damn damn. I cannot think about the effect of this. I felt like someone had hit me full on with a sledgehammer on my chest.  Why did I have to see this ?  Just in case  I had forgotten ?????

 

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Ursula,

 

I was going to post how for me the grocery store was always a huge trigger for me. Each season would bring some special treat we would love...

 

Then I read your last post and my heart just sank. I am so sorry you had to witness that. We certainly do not need any reminders, we will never forget.  Big ((hugs)) to you.

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Thank you for your replies, yes, it was horrible and somehow I saw all of it, what it reminded me of , the suffering of the two men and what their women and families and friends will have to go through. sometimes it is just too much. Maybe it means I have to try and get in touch with them...so at least something possibly positive comes out of this. don't know.

 

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thank you all, especially since this is still running under the silly 'sausage' header...

I am heading to Amsterdam to meet with some lovely fellow wids tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to it.

Put some real faces to some really lovely people I met here.  xxxx

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