StillWidowed Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 (edited) This weekend is a finance guy (widower) and an engineer. We'll see.......... Edited September 18, 2018 by StillWidowed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 Stillwidowed, I hope you have a fun weekend. My ex is going to teach me how to drive a manual shift tomorrow, and Sunday I have a second date with the guy I went out with a couple of weeks ago. I know, crazy I don't know how to drive a manual shift at my age. I'm nervous because it was my LH'S car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillWidowed Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 Well I canceled both dates to be safe due to a situation that happened earlier in the month but has recently escalated into harassment on the dating site. I'm on hiatus since I don't know if the nut job is contacting me under other fake profiles. So until this guy gets bored and moves onto someone else, I'm too freaked out to chance it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 So sorry, SW. Praying you are safe and that it all gets sorted very very soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Frightening, SW - sorry that you're dealing with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 SW...do you have an update? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillWidowed Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 I'm off the site for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 12 hours ago, StillWidowed said: I'm off the site for now. Hopefully the weirdo gets bored and moves on. No dates recently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillWidowed Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 A client of ours wants to meet me tonight for drinks. I'm going, but it will never be anything more than casual. I'm going so I can practice my kissing skills. It's been awhile. I'm getting rusty. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Have fun practicing! I am seeing two guys Saturday. I hope that all works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portside Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 15 hours ago, Virgo said: Have fun practicing! I am seeing two guys Saturday. I hope that all works out. Table for three? 🤣 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillWidowed Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Early dinner, late dinner? You go! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Sw, did you have fun? I'm meeting one guy in the afternoon, and then the other in the evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillWidowed Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 Hey Virgo. I did. We might get together again in December when he's back in town. Really nice guy. On another note, I met a man last weekend. We hit it off instantly, PLUS I was attracted to him (this almost never happens). We're going out again this weekend. The only drawback is that he's recently divorced. He seems interested, but I'm being cautiously optimistic. Not up for being the rebound girl. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 SW -- good for you! Take it slow ... don't overthink it ... how many stories do we hear of people who have been divorced for years that are still emotionally connected to the ex? Recent or not, see where it goes with divorced guy 😉 (from someone coming up on three years and living with for the past almost nine months with a guy who was separated and didn't get the final on the divorce until six months after the first date)! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sudnlysngl Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 SW I totally agree with arneal. The guy I recently divorced was separated for over 2 years and divorce was final while we were dating. If the "person" is a jerk, they are a jerk! Just found out actually, the jerk I divorced, was not only cheating on me for over 2 years, but it hasn't even been 5 months and they have already announced their engagement, lmao!!! Now I get to sit back and watch them self destruct, and believe me I will truly enjoy it.... oh my did I say that out loud, lol😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 0.o sudnlysngl, so sorry you've been through that! Not an unfamiliar story, sad to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 SW...you just never know. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy his company. The last time I updated I had two dates in one day. I canceled the afternoon date because I dated him before. I decided not to go backwards. I stopped dating him for a reason. I did go on my evening date, but it was our last. My choice, a lot of red flags for me. I decided to go on a lunch date a few days later with a guy I had been talking to. I'll be honest, I had been hesitant to meet with him. He has 5 children, which is a little intimidating to me. I have 3 daughters myself. Our coffee meet turned into lunch at another location right after. We've been seeing each other quite a bit. I actually spent most of my weekend with him. He's been divorced for almost 2 years, but has been having a lot of issues with his ex. I'm not sure if I'm up for the drama. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Thanks for updating, Virgo -- hoping you are well! Seems there is a pattern with our divorcees, huh. So many issues to work through that are different than widow(ers), but issues nonetheless. I think about the amount of time my LH had issues with his ex ... she was a handful almost up until he died. And you figure they'd already been apart about 11 or 12 years when he and I first met. Sometimes people are forced to carry the baggage rather than choosing to -- LH dealt with her because he wanted to be in his daughter's life. He and I fought the madness together (him at the forefront, me in the background). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 That's not very hopeful Arneal, but I agree. They just have different issues. I hope things settle down. She doesn't know about me yet, so that should be interesting too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Virgo -- it early on. If you decide to be in relationship, you also have to decide if you are 'all in'. Doing so means you are willing to fight alongside him. If not, keep it casual and stay out of all that. Better to be clear on it than give NG the impression you want to be all in if you don't ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 He invited me to his mother's birthday party Saturday. I mentioned that it would probably be better for me to meet his children before I met his extended family. Instead of meeting them all at the same time. He agreed and suggested that I meet his kids tonight. They have been asking to meet me. It seems a little fast, but comfortable at the same time. I took my youngest daughter with me. Surprisingly our kids weren't awkward around each other at all. It was a fun evening. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 Just an update, the birthday dinner with his family went really well. We've been seeing each other a lot since. Our kids are always asking when we are going to get together. They like spending time together. His mother and brothers asked where I was when he was with them for Thanksgiving. We decided to celebrate separately for now. We didn't want to introduce our kids to our extended families yet. So far so good, but I'm always skeptical. Why is that? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 Sounds like things are going well, happy for you, Virgo! I was slow in making introductions too, almost 2 years with NG and I'm still working on this. As for being skeptical, I feel this too - it's more of a feeling of vulnerability and not wanting to be completely open to fully loving again - a widow thing for me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 NG said I seem very guarded. I said I wouldn't disagree. My last relationship ended soon after he said I love you and I didn't say it back. Of course I've thought about that a lot. Was it because I didn't feel that way for him, or is it because I won't allow myself to feel that way for anyone? Am I ready? My NG asked if it was because I thought it would somehow take away from what I had with my LH. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I honestly don't know. Maybe like you said it's just feeling vulnerable again. I told him that I look forward to spending time with him, and enjoy the time we spend together. I'm comfortable where we're at and going slow. He really dislikes me using the word comfortable. It's become an inside joke between us. I think comfortable is a positive way to describe our relationship, but he thinks it sounds complacent. He did say that he is fine with going slow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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