Ordered gravestone today

[Virgo]

I didn't cry. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It is so odd to have normal conversations about Phil's death without crying. It felt like just another item to mark off of my to-do list. Just very matter of fact. Sounds cold though I'm sure. In some ways I think my to-do lists are what keep me from being a crying mess. They help keep me focused. I feel guilty that it has taken me this long to finalize everything, but I'm glad I took the extra time. I don't think I would have chosen the same gravestone 17 months ago, or even a year ago. I just hope everyone else likes what I chose.

 

I like clean lines, simplistic. There is a bit of bronze on either side, but it doesn't border the whole name plate. The stone is granite. It has our last name in the middle. First name and middle initial on each side. Birth month/day/year and then death month/day/year under our names. On his side I had them add Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. On my side I had them add "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

[Ursula]

VIrgo,, I think it is great that you got the stone. It takes as long as it takes. I believe it does not matter when, since compared to forever it's nothing. The main thing is that you like it, everybody else has to get used to it, if they don't ...

The not crying thing may be due to getting gradually used to this situation, without getting used to it, if you know what I mean. Maybe it depends on your daily form, on the situation etc. I find myself crying out of nowhere and then again, as you said, talk about A and not shed a tear.

I had a memorial stone made too, but I had to leave before I could have it placed, it would not have been the right moment, so I will do it , when I go back there.

I hope you feel good about having the stone made now .

I really like your inscription.

hugs

 

 

[Carey]

It sounds beautiful. That has always been one of my favorite quotes, smile because it happened.  Maybe that was in your heart when you ordered it and that helped you not to cry.  For some reason, I felt a sense of relief when Chad's stone was placed. It meant a lot to me to have that stone with his name, a permanent (per se) monument to his life and it honors him so it comforted me.  Hugs to you today ... even if you didn't cry, I'm sure it wasn't easy.

[Jen]

It sounds like a lovely marker. I still haven't looked into getting one... I've sketched what I want in a headstone, and I even have a plot of ground to put it on, even though I have no intention of being buried under it. I suppose I ought to get on with it, before my MIL beats me to it-- if she does, then Jim will have two markers (eventually), since she'll put hers in their family cemetery in Mississippi, and mine is here in Arkansas. Doesn't matter to me, and I know it doesn't make any difference to Jim, so I'm not in a great hurry. Still... I ought to at look...

 

The talking without crying thing is weird to me too. I was chatting with a lady at Starbucks the other day-- she was very sweet and we had a nice conversation; at some point, I couldn't avoid the subject. I told her about Jim without having a breakdown. It was frankly amazing to me, and a little disconcerting. I mean-- I still care, don't I? I'm still devastated?

 

Anyway. Not trying to hijack, just hanging right there with you. Hugs.