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Just Checking In


lcoxwell
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Since I have not had a chance to check in lately, I thought I would drop in for a moment and give you all an update. I am now down to a few last days, before I move. Trying to downsize from a very full four bedroom house (with a very stuffed attached garage) to a simple one-bedroom apartment, is not an easy task. I am being forced to finally go through my Kenneth's things, which is the one thing I had not been able to do, up to this point. Now, I have no choice, which is maybe a good thing. I have yet to decide whether it's good that I have so much yet to do, so that I cannot allow myself time to sit and grieve or mourn all this loss. I expect the reality will hit me at some point, when I least expect it, and will likely bring me to my knees. For now, though, I am just feeling a combination of numbness and excitement about the future.

 

At the moment, I am also feeling so overwhelmed with all that still needs to be done, and I am really stressing my ability to get it all taken care of. Trying to do all of this alone, with no support and no help from family or friends is so much harder than I ever expected. To complicate matters, my phone and Internet are currently turned off, until I move on Friday, which makes it a bit harder to take care of address changes and such. I am also down to my last few pennies, which means I don't have gas money to run all the errands to take care of the things I cannot take care of by phone.

 

My other big, big, BIG worry is that I do not have a credit card, nor do I have the $50 needed to reserve the U-haul for moving my things. I've gone by the rental company, and they say they think one will be available, but they cannot guarantee it. Since I cannot reserve the truck, I am having to take my chances. I don't know what I will do, if they don't have one for me, when I need it. At the moment, though, there is nothing I can do about it, but pray. For those of you who pray, please, please, please say a prayer that there will be a U-haul I can use, when I need it. I would greatly appreciate it so very much.

 

For those who have been posting, I am sorry I do not have time to read what you have written. I will Ty to catch up some time next week, once I get settled in my new place.

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We are on the same schedule, we move on Sunday.  Tonight I am at my sisters lake house in NH dropping off 2 of my kids and getting a 2 day break from the packing.  It's crazy because there is still so much to do but I am grateful for the chance to step away from it all.  I am downsizing too, though not as much as you because I still have 3 kids at home.  Being on such a tight timeline is helping to keep the sentimental emotions at bay, decisions have to be made quickly about what stays or goes.  I will be glad when it's all over.

 

Big hugs and prayers that it all goes smoothly for you!

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HUGS!!!  Oh, the moving, the address changes, the cell phones not working!!  Overwhelmed is not a good enough description for that is it?  Don't allow it to become so overwhelming that it paralyzes you.  Try to do it one thing at a time, worry about tomorrow first. Then after that...you can worry about Wednesday.  Try not to worry about this weekend yet.

 

Focus on that "excitement for the future", that will carry you. 

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Good luck with the move! A big pat on the back for all you've accomplished. My house is still chock FULL of Mick reminders. I have been slowly removing the ones that have less meaning to me, either giving the items away, taking things to consignment or simply tossing. It's a SLOW process and I wonder if I'll ever be done!

 

Hugs on your efforts!

Donna

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I am down to my final two days, and then I will be hitting the road and starting a new life. For the most part, I have been able to toss out or give away most of Kenneth's things, with little difficulty. This is somewhat surprising to me, and I am thinking that I could be in shock and will have a complete meltdown, once I slow down and realize just how few of his things I am keeping. So far, only two things have left me completely paralyzed as to what to do with, and one of them would have brought me to tears, had my son not been in the room with me.

 

I am still in complete panic mode about the U-haul and am still worried about how much is still left to do. I may have a sleepless night tonight, trying to finish up the packing on time. Please, continue to keep me in your prayers or send good wishes and positive thoughts. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life, and I am really being flooded with an overwhelming mix of emotions.

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We've got this!  The absolute hardest thing after losing Tim is this but the difference is there is rainbow waiting at the end of this crazy storm.  You are making a positive change and moving towards your future, keep your focus on that so you can get the job done.  Then we can lean on each other after when the emotions catch up with us.

 

Sending you all of my virtual support and a big hug!

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I wanted to check in on you and see how your move is going.  I hope all of the logistics went smoothly and you are surviving the emotional roller coaster. I totally get why they say it's one of the top 5 most stressful things you can go through.  (((Hugs)))

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  • 3 weeks later...

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