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fuckin dreams...


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no not dreams of fucking

 

I don't get weird dreams often but last night I cant get it out of my head.

I was at my dads old house I used to rent, he gutted and remodeled the basement. my old room was gone.

my mom (parents are separated) was there and said she was not moving in to help me and she was thinking I could not afford it alone, I said i'd be fine when Jessica got better and came home from the hospital... then my mom said... Mark... She is not coming home...

 

then I woke up...

 

fuck.

 

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I'm sorry, Mark. It seems so cruel for our bodies to put us through those dreams. Wasn't going through it all once enough? Maybe it serves a purpose, but it sucks for sure. I had a dream where I found out my husband wasn't really dead, but had just left the kids and me. He was living at his mom's. I called and begged her to let me talk to him. When he got on the phone, he said he had made a terrible mistake and asked me to please allow him to come home. Of course, I said yes. He told me he'd be right over. I was so happy. I told him I was going to go tell the kids. I woke up, jumped out of bed, and ran across the room... suddenly it hit me I was running across my new room in the new place we had to move to due to him dying. I realized it had just been a dream. Damn.

 

Sending you tight hugs...

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I dreamed Chad found someone else in Saudi and faked his death and then changed his mind and wanted to come back and we were faced with paying back the saudis and social security and all kinds of bad juju ... oh AND he was drunk again.  Think I'll pass if those are the only kinds of dreams I can get of him.

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A few nights ago (when I was actually sleeping, sigh), I had the first dream about Jim that I'd had in months. I was going to a wedding with his parents-- a cousin, someone I didn't know-- and Jim was there. He was wearing a green polo shirt, something he never owned in all the time I knew him (he didn't like collars). I was overjoyed to see him, but he kept his distance-- he wouldn't touch me. I asked, "Why did you go?" He answered, "I had to... I was already married, and I just couldn't live the lie anymore." I started to cry and said I didn't care if he had ten wives, it didn't matter, if he would just come back, please... But he said he couldn't, and turned and left. :(

 

It was awful. I woke up absolutely crushed. I'd rather not dream at all, thanks.

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oh those dreams are the worse , the ones were you are told again they are not coming back

hope it didn't ruin your weekend

I have a lot of the dreams where don just comes back , like it was all a mistake

I even say what do we do with the life insurance etc, so weird and comforting at the same time ..then I wake up :(

the funniest part is don looks like he did when we were first married

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