Nightmares

[Quixote]

Sitting at four years, still plagued by nightmares.  Not so much the final moments (my wife died in my arms from cancer.  And I don't have to tell you lot that isn't some lovely romantic tragedy like movies make it out to be).  Not anymore, at least.  Just more generalized, often metaphorical feelings of loss and loneliness.

 

I used to deal with it with drinking until unconsciousness.  Don't recommend the technique, myself.  Yeah, I quit (support group, yatatata.  It worked.  Been a year or so now).  But still fighting with the darned dreams.   

 

Trying all the usual things, grief counseling, exercise, staying busy.  But it doesn't seem to help at three am.  Thinking of melatonin, but based on my history, I'm not excited about trying to find an answers in bottles.

 

Anyone successfully fight through.similar issues?  It'd be nice to get a good nights rest.

[SailorGirl]

I've used melatonin to fight insomnia in the past for insomnia.  It caused me to have crazy, wild, vivid dreams.  I don't think I would recommend it in your situation.  I think it would exasperate things.

[Guaruj]

I haven't had these problems myself. I do know that lack of sleep will make it very difficult for you to function during the day. The only non-medical action I could recommend is physical exercise, outdoors in the daytime if possible. Even taking a long walk in the afternoon helps.

 

It's perfectly reasonable to see a doctor about this, too. You need your sleep.

 

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[Jess]

Have you ever tried reading about lucid dreaming techniques? Essentially, it is a way to be aware you are dreaming and even exercise some control over those dreams. I had a friend years ago that was plagued with night terrors and practicing lucid dreaming techniques helped him a lot.

[Quixote]

Thanks all. So maybe no melatonin. I saw a doctor, who referred me to the psychologist/grief counselor. Helped in some ways, not so much with the dream issues.  And boy howdy, you're right about interfering with daily life. I'm on medical leave right now for concentration issues (my job requires a high safety margin).

 

Maybe I'll look into the lucid dream thing. Can't hurt.

[Needytoo]

I have the reverse problem. I don't remember any of my dreams.  I use to suffer a lot from insomnia but not so much now but when I get one day that I don't sleep well boy do I feel it.  My heart goes out to you. 

I use to lie in bed for hours before I feel asleep. My brain would be in super hyper mode at night and wouldn't shut up now I think I fall asleep with in minutes of lying down.  I am not sure why I can do this now.  I use to think it was the sleeping pills I use to be on finally taught my brain to shut up or maybe it is because I mediate. 

But my oldest son had the same problem as you and he used the lucid dreaming technique and it works for him.  Wish I could do it. 

[Mrskro]

I have nightmares too,  and have tried melatonin...DON'T DO IT!  I just ended up have techno-coloured nightmares.  My husband died from sudden cardiac arrest in our home and I did CPR until the medics arrived.  I used to dream just of that and now I'm like you, just general nightmares. 

 

I wish you well in fighting them. 

[Justin]

I tried it before DW died, but melatonin gave me strange dreams as well. I didn't take that for very long.

[cmf]

Have you tried EMDR? For a long time I had panic inducing nightmares and then a combination of EMDR and the medicine prazosin helped me immensely. It is a BP medicine that has been studied for a very long time with vets who have PTSD related nightmares. There is a lot of info about it on VA websites about PTSD treatment, and also the Mayo Clinic website. I printed off all of the research for my doc, and he still wouldn't give it to me because it is a very old school medicine, but when I went to see a psychiatrist it was the first thing she mentioned so it is a well known and effective treatment among doctors who work in this field, though maybe not among generalists.

 

 

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VDS 11/8/59-8/22/10

[Quixote]

You guys have scared me off the melatonin, for sure.  Have a bottle in the cupboard, but really don't need any more craziness.

 

Trying the whole lucid dream idea, but I'm not sure it's working.  Keeping a dream journal and telling myself I'll remember my dreams just seems to make them more vivid.  Had some really bad ones last night, including a super vivid painful one about being crucified on a vast plain filled with empty crosses that were there to let me know that I was dying alone.  Promise I won't share any more, but that gives you the idea

 

Can't take most prescription psych drugs for work related reasons (I'm a pilot and the FAA is super picky about that sort of thing).