Wedding coming up

[singinmomo4]

I've gone to several weddings since becoming widowed.  Two of them were for wonderful widowed friends and they were the absolute best.  It was like a big bago where we celebrated one of our own finding love again.  A third one was a very small affair of someone from church.  I knew a lot of the people there, they knew me, knew my situation, I was comfortable.  Now I have another wedding coming up.  This one is for the daughter of a friend of mine.  This one I'm kind of stressing about.  No widowed friends to be with, I don't expect to know anyone except the bride, her mom and sisters and maybe one friend I meant through my friend, the mom.  I'm nervous going to this wedding and not having a date.  As I said, I was fine at the other ones but this one will be different.  A wedding full of couples and people I don't know and the one person I really know, the mother of the bride, will of course be busy.  I'm feeling very unsure of myself, lonely and missing having Rick here.  Rick was perfect at these sorts of things.  He could get along with, make conversation with, absolutely anyone, anywhere.  I'm just afraid I will be there, sitting alone, watching people dance and missing Rick. 

[Trying]

Situations like that where I don't really know anyone give me anxiety too.  Usually it turns out better than I expect and I find people to talk to but definitely out of my comfort zone.  Hopefully they put you at a table with this in mind.  If you can find a group of women dancing together that usually helps and makes it more fun.

 

I hope it goes well, you are a good friend to go to her daughter's wedding even though you are feeling uncomfortable!

[SoVerySad]

Hugs to you, SMO4. You are such a sweet lady, I'm sure anyone seated with you would enjoy your company. I do totally understand, though, how it just feels lousy to no longer have our husbands to attend things with us. I especially enjoyed going to weddings with my T as we would always enjoy reminiscing about our wedding. I hope it will be better than you expect.

 

More hugs...

[singinmomo4]

Thank you everyone.  I know the people here get it.  I talked with my friend tonight and she asked if it was okay if she sat me with Lynne, the friend of hers that I had met and I said yes.  Lynne is very nice and we do have things in common to talk about since she also has a son with aspergers.  It's why our friend introduced us.  Her son also goes to the same school that Nick started going to a year ago.  I'm not sure if Lynne will have a date or not.  I'm pretty sure she was getting a divorce from her husband.  We'll just have to see how it goes. 

[cathyr]

I'm glad you'll be seated next to someone you have met before.  She sounds like a nice lady and with your sweet, bubbly personality, the two of you will probably be whooping it up with the others before the night ends.  Good luck!  I hope you have an awesome time! ;D

[Guest mawidow]

I'm so glad and impressed that you took a step to sit with someone! We are also with you in spirit.

[Guest Bear1956]

I have done some funerals but no wedding yet. Good luck, M.

[BrokenHeart2]

I'm about to attend my first wedding Oct 31 without him but his ex will be there. Ugh stepson is best man and sdaught is a bridesmaid. Tomorrow is the bridal shower that sdaught can't stay at for work reasons, I'm dropping of the gift and 15 hydrangeas from my garden for the tables.... I'm done!!

[Guest nonesuch]

The very first wedding I went to post widowhood was just as you described.  It wasn't a terribly formal affair, and there was no head table, so the parents of the bride asked me to sit with them.  If they hadn't, I was still doing okay with my "How do you know the happy couple?" strategy. Everyone wants to tell their story.

 

[Lmsmdm]

My first wedding was fun while I was there. I lost it later, alone in my hotel room....I think what started me off was I couldn't unzip my dress, and had to knock on the room down the hall with the giggling college girls. It made me feel pathetic. Today thankfully I am able to laugh about it.

 

I'm glad you are being seated with someone you know. I also know after meeting you several times, you probably fit in anywhere you go. (((Hugs)))) I hope it ends up being a blast!!

[Sugarbell]

I have been to a few weddings and funerals now solo...my security blanket I take a kid.

 

Just one...used to always be my daughter but now she's learning it's not that fun so I drag one of my boys.

 

Maybe one of your older 2?? Anyway...it always gets my mind off being solo at these events...one kid is a great conversationalist and the younger two people usually think are "cute"... I always end up staying longer and a kid is pissed by the end of the evening so I always have a way to bolt if needed.

 

In fact...I have never taken a date...always a kid. Not all of them...just one poor soul at a time gets dragged to these things with me.😊

[Jen]

I've never had the opportunity to attend many weddings-- honestly, I could count the number of weddings I've been to on one hand, and two of those were my own. In two weeks, my sister is getting married-- to a man named James (my dh was Jim). I'm happy for them, of course, but I'm scared stiff about the actual wedding. How will I react? Will I be okay, or will I have a meltdown? If I do, does it matter? Will anyone care, or even notice, as long as I don't make a spectacle of myself? It's my sister's big day, and, I assure you, ALL eyes will be on her (she'll make certain). A date is out of the question; there's no one I could even ask as a friend, so it didn't even occur to me until I read this thread! I'm trying not to worry about it... I'll be nothing but an afterthought anyway, and maybe that's a good thing. If I can keep it together that day, maybe I can go home and cry myself sick that night. No one needs to see that...  :-\

 

((((Hugs))))