September 13th...our anniversary

[widowat33]

It kind of snuck up on me this year...

I hadn't even been counting down the days to it. 12 years ago I married my best friend, sadly he died two months before our 11th anniversary.

We never really celebrated anniversaries, acknowledged them but never went out or made plans. Maybe that's why I didn't even realize that it was already here.

Or it could be because I've been so busy lately too.

I expect it really will only be family that will mention it, and honestly I'm okay with that. I don't really expect anyone else to remember the date, especially since I almost forgot about it.

The lead up to our wedding wasn't the smoothest..lots of issues with family, and each other. The night before our wedding we had a huge fight over something really stupid, but the stress had built up so much we finally let it out. So we went somewhere quiet and just talked, cried and realized I think in that moment that the wedding didn't matter so much, the only thing that mattered was that we were getting married and were planning on it being forever. Til death do us part, never even realized the significance of that. The day of the wedding was amazing..there were still some family members not speaking to us, but we just didn't care. We were in love and so happy, filled with dreams for the future. It just doesn't seem fair that we never got to live out all those dreams.

I guess I just wanted to acknowledge the date, and this is probably the only place I can do that where I know others will understand or at least empathize with me. I also wanted to acknowledge him, and all the happiness he brought to my life, and how much I loved him and how loved I felt.

[Jen]

I don't like to say Happy Anniversary... maybe Peaceful Anniversary? It's not fair, it's incredibly unfair, and I'm so, so sorry that our happy-ever-afters were cut short. It was supposed to be forever, damn it. And for them, it was...

 

(((((HUGS)))))) to you today. Just want you to know that I'm mourning your love with you, and mine, and all of ours. <tears>

 

 

[Trying]

Hugs to you today. Some how our wedding anniversary is so much more significant to me now that he's gone. The last anniversary we had together was out 20th and his first day of chemo.

[widowat33]

Jen- the thought that I was his last love actually does give me comfort, in an odd way?! I'm just grateful that I made him happy.

Trying- I'm so sorry that chemo is the memory you have of your last anniversary. Not to compare death, since it's all so terribly unfair, but I was always relieved that I didn't have to see him sick, as he died in an accident, I've seen the toll it can take on people who have to watch their loved ones die.

Thank you both. Amazingly the only people to acknowledge it was a very close friend who is also a widow, she sent me a text about how 12 years ago was such a beautiful special day. My mil called and although she didn't come out and say anything about it being our anniversary she asked how I was doing. And my sil who sent me a Facebook message asking how I was doing. My own family never mentioned it at all and I really thought they would be the ones to bring it up, so I never said anything to them about it.

I spent most of the day working on a presentation, then went for a long walk, which I found so incredibly peaceful that I was reminded to do that more often.

[Amor]

Widow33,

I wish you happy memories with your beloved forever!

I wish you peaceful anniversary's. 

I just had my anniversary as well.  I was able to have peace and good memories with a beautiful dinner.

Amor

[BrokenHeart2]

It's your wedding anniversary and I hope you found peace and loving memories. My father died 26 yrs ago and I always called my Mom and wished her a happy anniversary (although now I wished I used different words but she always was glad to hear from me. Now I get it)

I hope you may find comfort in reminiscing with your cherished memories.

Hugs

[widowat33]

Amor..I wish the same back to you as well! I'm happy that you were able to have a peaceful day and a beautiful dinner.

Brokenheart2.. Thank you. I think that's so thoughtful of you to have called your mom on their anniversary, even before you (unfortunately) understood how hard the day is.

I went for another walk tonight, I used to walk all the time, but life had been so hectic I quit for awhile. I intend to keep at it this time. The exercise is nice but the main benefit, for me, is the alone time and reflection. It definitely puts me in a better and calmer mood!

Hugs back to you all!