Guest Lost35 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Was on my way to a store to get a birthday card for the friend of my son when I saw a man who looked, from behind, and walked just like Peter. I got a phone call one day and then confusion and than at some point was asked to come down to pick out a vessel for some ashes. I wish I could say I couldn't count the times I've turned my car around to follow some stranger on a bike on the highway...but I can't. The absurd thought that the accident was a ruse and for some ridiculous reason he would come back to us still exists. I think I really needed to see his body. Just simply, failing to exist, is not enough. So the ridiculous thoughts set in and there I was, just trying to get a look at his face, when I knew in my heart it would not be what I need to see. "No body" is not good enough, seven years later. It's just not good enough. I just need to say good-bye to him, but can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveyoualways Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Lost35, I'm sad for those that never got to say goodbye. I'm sorry for your pain. I was told by some that it would be too traumatic to see him after a traumatic accident. The stubborn in me didn't listen. But I still think that I see him too. I follow men around that look like him. I feel like I need to be close to them. I know that it's messed up. Maybe it's our minds wanting them to still be here. In the beginning of this shitty journey I couldn't wrap my brain around the reality of a young, healthy man being dead. So you're not the only one who doesn't want to believe it. Accepting the worst that can happen to us is difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Awe lost35, I get it. Last summer I was on my way home and a guy went by on a bike and I swore it could have been DH. It was everything I could do not to turn around and chase him down. I lost it in the car. I'm sorry you never got to have that final closure. Giant hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Im sorry Lost35 - my husband also died in a sudden accident and I didnt get to say goodbye to him. The whole event seemed like a very bad nightmare - and Ill never forget getting that phone call from the Coast Guard in the middle of the night. I was thinking the other day how I would give anything to just see him again and talk to to him about all the things in my head. Sometimes when I am sitting somewhere or working out at the gym, staring out the window, I will myself to see his smiling face and picture him standing there. At 3+ years out, I have resigned myself to say goodbye but he's usually there in the background anyway, and in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIonlycould Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I had "sightings" for a long time, still do but they are less and less. I will see the walk or the truck with someone with his color hair driving it. Yes there were a few times I followed knowing that I was crazy but also knowing that something in me needed to see it WAS NOT him. Must be a part of my grieving process. I was able to have a viewing, I can't imagine what it would be like to not have been able to see his body. Yes, that certainly would screw with my mind for the rest of my life, I'm so sorry..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I was with my husband when they took him off life support. I saw him lifeless in his casket. I still have mornings that I wake up reaching for him briefly before reality sets in. Will it ever stop feeling like a nightmare? I'm sorry ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I also see my don everywhere , I have also will admit I followed for a bit or watched that person just so for a few seconds wishing it could be him but of course it isn't one guy was the same build , look and I was so tempted Just to ask for a hug but I didn't I am sorry you didn't got to see peter and say goodbye when he died makes it seem more real but still doesn't stop the forever looking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckie Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I do this too sometimes and I can't help but stare at them. Even sometimes with older men I think that is what he would have looked like. There are so many tall thin guys out there with the same english-style cap and then when you add the big headphones I gave him once; 5-years later and I still wish it was him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lost35 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I'm sorry to hear you all go through the same, though I have to say I'm thankful to feel more sane, hearing your stories. Take care, Everyone. -L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widowhoodsucks Posted November 16, 2015 Share Posted November 16, 2015 hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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