Brenda Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 It appears that I now have a girlfriend, a mere nine months after my wife died. Turns out the new girl, like me, wanted to be more than just great friends, but neither of us were brave enough to air our feelings. I met her only four months after my wife died and we were just friends to begin with. She's one of those rare people who seems to fit so comfortably. Never thought this would happen, but I secretly and guiltily always hoped it would. Early days, but we'll see how things progress. But she does make me genuinely smile, and I haven't done that for so long. I guess it's time to take a second job to pay for the countless hours I'm going to spend at the therapist dealing with this whole mess... ...But at least it's a happy mess for once, and not one of the usual shitty widow financial/parenting/job/housing/depression/in-law messes that I've been dealing with for what feels like decades now. Just wanted to share, because without the support of you all and your advice in my multiple threads related to this same topic, I doubt I'd have ever felt it was okay to find somebody new. So thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanGenie Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Brenda, so happy for you and how nice that it happened naturally. I loved your comment re: "happy mess for once". I always wonder if it's worth taking a risk, but I don't want to create a new "mess". But you're right...a happy mess is certainly better than what we're usually dealing with! Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Brenda, I met my second husband 6 months after the death of my first husband, moved to be with him just after the one year anniversary of my first husband's death and remarried at 18 months out. It was perfect...or as perfect as anything could be. I know that guilty feelings can rise up in this kind of situation, but just look at whether these are really your feelings, or some kind of shame projected at you by other people. If you have done nothing to disrespect the memory of your late wife, why not look for happiness? Life is short, isn't it? If you can handle this relationship now, and it is healthy, why not??? I'm now 21 months out from the death of my second husband and nowhere near the place I was at this point after the death of my first husband, but I still want to find that kind of happiness again...a third great love. I don't know if I'm ready for it...I'm not actively looking, but I certainly hope to find love again. Hugs, Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 (((Hugs))) I'm so happy for you!!! Enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I'll take a happy mess over a sad mess any day of the week! Enjoy your happy mess! You are on your own timeline...nobody else's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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