Virgo Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Today was our wedding anniversary. It would have been 21 years. Tomorrow my daughters and I are going on our first family vacation since he died. One of the main reasons we haven't been anywhere is because my 16yo always finds a reason for us not to go. This morning she started researching our resort (Kalahari) and has decided that it must be infested with bed bugs. There were a few reviews from 2013 that claimed they found bed bugs. I told her we could check our beds and linens when we get there, and take precautions when we got home if that would ease her mind. We are going! Her sisters have been ready for a family vacation for awhile. One of my Facebook friends has been complaining all week about how she's having 'the worst week of her life' caring for her kids while her husband is away on a business trip. It's taking everything in me not to respond 'at least it's temporary.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Happy Anniversary! To assuage any concerns, my hyper-Type-A mother is taking my daughter to Kalahari in late November over couple of days when I cannot be here because of work. She's a stickler to put it mildly and I'm sure she's scoured reviews on the internet. I should set your daughter up with her. lol. I hope you all have a really good time together! Our outings as Mom and Daughter are both maddening and powerfully delightful in equal measure. Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Virgo, belatedly checking in. Anniversaries are hard, I hope the day was okay. Have a great time away -I googled that resort and it sounds fun. I hope it is a nice change. Lots of that kind of post in my FB feed as well re: temporary solo parenting. Congratulations on your/our self control... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I hope you all enjoy your trip and that your 16 year old's anxiety stays in check so she can have fun. As for FB, there will always be ignorant people, I wish I was still one of them! But wouldn't it feel great to respond with a little reality check just one time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 Thank you! We had a great time. We ended up coming home tonight instead of in the morning. The girls missed sleeping in their own beds. We did check for bed bugs and took precautions when we got home just to ease their minds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 Happy Belated Anniversary!!! A vent for me.... Nightmares go away!! Why? Why am I having nightmares when I am in a safe, comfortable place? The dreams are horrible... all about the abuser and raging at me, making fun of me, hurting me... I do not think about the abuser all day, then...wham, 3am...I am waking up in a complete feeling of being there all over again. Ugh... Vent over, focusing on the positives in my life now. Courage, keep going, I'll be okay!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 Happy Belated Anniversary!!! A vent for me.... Nightmares go away!! Why? Why am I having nightmares when I am in a safe, comfortable place? The dreams are horrible... all about the abuser and raging at me, making fun of me, hurting me... I do not think about the abuser all day, then...wham, 3am...I am waking up in a complete feeling of being there all over again. Ugh... Vent over, focusing on the positives in my life now. Courage, keep going, I'll be okay!! I'm sorry you are having nightmares. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torn Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 A vent from me: I'm so dang frustrated with being in physical pain while feeling hopeless & lonely. It's terrible to feel like I despise others who seem happy in relationships, it truly wrong of me & selfish,I don't act on these feelings but I feel crappy even thinking that way. It difficult to ever imagine another person who I'll grow close to and love,however I know to be totally happy one day I will. All Widows out there are these common thoughts / feelings? In a nutshell,it's difficult to know how to feel emotionally while some days I wonder if others feel this way to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Torn, I would say it's very common to feel that way and not selfish at all. I still feel angry and resentful at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 I fear I have lost the ability to effectively grocery shop for myself any more. I go to make a list and I blank. So then I go to the store and end up coming home with random things. I hate cooking for one. I detest not having someone to share responsibilities with. I am so tired of adulting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 What is it about grocery shopping, I absolutely dread it since DH died. I'm not cooking for one but I can imagine if I didn't have to feed my kids there would be a lot more eggs or cereal for dinner. I try on the weekend to make a big batch of something that we can have left overs and I can freeze some for a later date. Sauce and meatball, lots of soups or chili. This weekend NG made a huge pot of turkey soup while I was doing college visits yesterday with my son. I could practically cry when someone does the cooking for me, it's the biggest treat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 Jess, try using Evernote. It's an app for making lists. I love it! My phone is always with me. I just add to it as we run out of items. Phil always went grocery shopping with me. We just made a day of it. Shopping, Grocery shopping, and dinner. I despise going now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I really do need to work on lists as I go, but I just fail at it. Maybe the app will help. I just detest having to do it alone. Typically Joe went or we went together. It was never my thing. Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guaruj Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I really do need to work on lists as I go, but I just fail at it. Maybe the app will help. An even simpler solution is to use your phone's calendar to hold the list. If you plan to go to the store on Saturday morning, put an entry in your calendar, then put the shopping list in the Description field for that entry. I used Evernote on both my desktop and my phone when Catherine and I were house hunting. I also use it for Christmas lists. I have used Microsoft OneNote at work for four years and it's helped me a lot. I just detest having to do it alone. Typically Joe went or we went together. It was never my thing. Sigh. I can sympathize with this. Catherine always paid the bills, and I barely have the patience to sort through the mail each day. It may help to create a solution that is uniquely yours. Catherine always paid bills by U.S. Mail, but I can't stand handling paper. I finally started paying the bills online, and that process just works better for me. |+| M a r k |+| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torn Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I want to recommend Evermore aswell, a great app to help remember . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I use Evernote, but more as a notebook-type app for collecting ideas. Quip is my go-to for making general lists that are not time-sensitive, such as a grocery list or home repairs needed. Lists can be shared with and updated by multiple users, as well. Available as a phone app and also accessible via web browser. I use Gmail's task list feature in its calendar for time-sensitive to-do's. GTasks is a great app that will sync these to your phone and also allow an alarm to be set for the task at a certain time. This feature is great when I need to send a reminder text to my teen to do something when she gets home from school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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