Cut-off my daughter

[krisnbb]

Yikes! I knew it would probably come to this. I've always told her I would pay tuition and basic living expenses (incl reasonable rent) while she's in school. Two years ago she flunked out of community college her first semester. Funding stopped. She choose to couch surf for a year instead of live with me. No $$ from me, worked part time at a pizza place. She decided to go to the Paul Mitchell school out of state where her BF lived. Ok.

 

For 6 months she was committed. Then I discovered she was on probation for poor attendance. I told her 90% attendance or $$ stops. She missed enough that she was de-enrolled (expelled?). They give her the opportunity to re-enroll which she swore she was committed to, in large part because her BF told her to grow up and finish school or find a job. She swears she's enrolled but hasn't started yet and texted to ask for her rent $$. I told her to send the school's contract confirming enrollment and start date. She's refused. I refuse to send $$. She won't take my call, so I texted her that all she has to do is send me the paperwork.

 

Haven't heard from her in almost 2 weeks. The BF's dad told me that my daughter is no longer talking to me because I'm ruining her life. (He supports me BTW).

 

I have no idea how she's living. Her BF is on the east coast for 3 months. I was ready for this, but it still sucks.I know I'm doing the right thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Wheelerswife]

I'm not a parent but I am getting my Master's in Higher Education Student Affairs.  We do see our fair share of students in similar situations.  Kudos to you for being willing to support her, but knowing when she has crossed the boundaries of your agreement with her.  Chances are that she is not yet re-admitted to the school, so she may not be able to produce paperwork.  Somehow, she is going to have to figure out just how many hours it takes to work at a pizza joint for her to cover her rent right now.

 

I can't even begin to understand what this feels like as a parent, but as a soon-to-be higher education professional, I throw my support behind you.

 

Hugs,

 

Maureen

[mmg19]

You are doing the right thing but that doesn't mean it makes you feel good.  Keep a line of communication open so she knows she can count on you when she gets her stuff together.  I can only imagine how difficult this must be while waiting on the maturity to show up.  Let her work the pizza shop a little longer.  So called friends have a way of disappearing when they have to carry her.  Hopefully she'll get the "light bulb turned on" before the next semester.  Good Luck and ((Hugs)) to you for standing firm.

[Virgo]

Tough love is...tough (for everyone! ) Hopefully she'll realize eventually that you weren't trying to ruin her life.