mmg19

1. Thanksgiving Day/Dinner will be at our house this year. Mom and MIL are assisting. 2. Ready to celebrate 1 year anniversary with new spouse. 3. Blended family is a blessing.( My 2 boys, my parents, my LH parents, husbands' 3 adult children, spouses' and grandchildren. Total of 17 being thankful together and sharing Thanksgiving together.

Sending hugs and support Rob. My boys are now teenagers and doing well academically. BUT it is a 24/7 job and so much more difficult than when they were younger. I have found it is not the physical hard work of parenting alone that I faced when they were younger but the mental, emotional, and stressful work of staying consistent and on top of my game when they now are pushing boundaries. Just know you have shown such amazing parental help over the years. Your suggestion for Love and Logic parenting became my instruction book. The girls will be fine. Don't be too hard on yourself. My friends and co-workers have all said " Girls are much more difficult in high school than boys". Hang in there.

So much in your post was my thought the first 3 years. Sounds like you have in figured out and the future will be brighter. Time is a good healer. I felt your pain and your honesty in your words. Better times ahead.

I believe this came from the book "Tuesday's with Morrie". The quote resonated with me after my husband died and it is true today although I have remarried. The relationship with LH will be a part of me forever as we had two children who were an integral part of that relationship. My relationship with new spouse is equally a part of who I am today. Interesting how we come across a quote we haven't thought about and it makes an impact. Thanks for sharing.

1. My 2 teenage boys played board games with us last night and said it was more fun than they expected. 2. I needed the extra hour of sleep last night and ready to face another week. 3. Great message in church today. My soul was nourished.

BK2 I understand so well. I found comfort in seeing and knowing his name was on our jointing held assets. Every removal was a trigger for the tears.

KK Sending hugs. I am so sorry you are going through this.

SB Abitlost had some great comments and things to think about. I agree. You have said you like his daughter and enjoy her company in previous posts. If she is sweet, well-mannered, kind, and respectful her father is doing something right. He may be over compensating by doing so much for her, but he knows more about the situation with her Mom than anyone. Since the daughter does not live with NG full time, it would be necessary that he take care of the animals when she is not there. Just trying to see things from his perspective. It takes a lot of communication and working together when both natural parents are on the same page and in a stable family. I would only be concerned if she talked back to her father, was in trouble at school and socially, and showed destructive behaviors. Right now I have 2 teenage boys who were responsible at a younger age but will now take advantage of being catered to at the drop of a hat.

Lingering happy thoughts of 4th of July today. Our holiday started July 1 when relatives started arriving for the annual reunion at my parents home. Cleaned, cooked, and set up as I could at parents home on Saturday with the help of my boys. Sunday festivities at church homecoming. Monday was a cookout at my house and finally the 4th with visiting both sets of grandparents. Boys had friends over for a volleyball tournament, Today it is clean-up at parents and all relatives gone. My parents are in their 70's and appreciate all the help putting tents, tables, chairs, etc. away. This is the first July 4th with new husband. We both lost our spouses over 4 years ago and thankful the light has returned to our lives along with the fireworks.

I am a Christian and have been my entire life. DH was of the same faith and my new husband is of the same faith. My Church, faith, and beliefs have been a constant in the grief journey. The pastoral counseling available through my church helped me so much.

1. We were all able to take my parents to cemetery and also decorate graves with new spouse for his late wife and my late husband. 2. Out of town friends are spending 2 days with us and we are having cookout, kids friends, and family. 3. School is almost out and time to rest from school work (a little), refresh the mind, and enjoy the family.

Sorry about the "nutty" ex, but it sounds like NG has a grip on the situation and is being a good father in spite of the ex's desire for drama. I can understand the frustration but less said the better as the two of you evolve into a loving respectful relationship.

Stay on the high road. You are not responsible for her words and behaviors. NG will always need some contact with his ex if they are sharing custody. Daughter will and should always be concerned for her mother. Her medical issues do not concern you. A fire always burns out when no fuel is added. Patience, kindness, and maturity are qualities to serve one well. Sooner or later you are going to be faced with face to face contact. A pleasant hello and move on as you would with any other acquaintance without emotion or need for conversation would be my choice. No explanation needed and NG and daughter will appreciate not feeling any stress. Good Luck.

Agree with TooSoon. Revolving door dating, relationships, involving kids in your personal life when you know it is going nowhere will most certainly not be good for the children. There has been only one man in my life and in the life of my children since becoming a widow. He is now their step-father and a father in every sense of the word.

Not in a position to offer advice on how to deal with the ex. NG got kudos for not talking about his ex. I respect this in both males and females. Ex is the mother of his daughter and I would tread lightly never to comment on her actions to him or in the presence of any of the children(yours and his). Enjoy the becoming friends stage of the relationship and my hunch is there will be very little drama since she appears to have interests elsewhere and may relish the idea of her daughter being around a stable influence. I would also clean up my facebook friends or at least restrict any opportunity to have any contact. NG should handle any issues that may arise. Good Luck as you move forward.

This is truly breaking news. So happy for you and wishing you both love forevermore.

Maureen always has words that comfort and give support. She had good advice. Have you had a physical recently? Also a therapist could be good for you. Do you have a church? I know nothing about your circumstances and do not want to offend. Please make contact with groups or community resources to see what is available. Isolation is not good and tends to create even more isolation. Hugs to you. Blessings

Thank you Lewis. You are appreciated. Blessings.

Super!!!! This is the MO that led me to the best forever relationship I could ever have imagined. One word jumped out of your post. Wholesome. Granted I am not one to go fast and physical with friendships/relationships/dating. When children are involved, I think this approach to getting to know and LIKE one another supersedes all the chemistry and physical attraction that creates so many messes. I'm happy for you and enjoy. Blessings.

I was eager to read your update. Your writing is so descriptive and all encompassing that I could visualize the thought processes you and Andy were going through. Sounds like a good plan and a new beginning for your family. Now to enjoy the waiting game, she said facetiously. Best wishes.

Makes sense to me for 2 reasons. 1. You love Andy and are planning a forever future. 2. You love your job and all the facets it has provided for you and your daughter. For me this would have been easy at 28 and starting a new career and new husband and without the "what ifs" that experience, grief, and vulnerability placed on our very being. You are a thinker, problem solver, and a very smart woman and you will come up with the right choice/decision in your own time. A lot to think about but my money is on you to successfully work through this. Blessings

2017 is a new beginning for me. Met K(a widower) in a grief group 4 years ago. The group was small and after the 6 months with a counselor we all remained bonded and kept in touch. K and I became friends, good friends, and after 1 year best friends. We had already shared our grief, background, family situations, and had had very happy marriages. Forward 3 years. At some point close to 3 years out we became aware of the physical attraction and chemistry that had emerged. Another year and we married in November. So this is a new beginning, a blending of families, and building goals together. Sounds simple but it is not. His children are adults and he has one grandchild. I have 2 teenage boys. He is much more financially secure than I am. We've worked through all the possible unknowns and integrated all the children, my parents, my ex-inlaws, and our separate friends during the past 6 months. 2016 holidays brought us all together and by the grace of God it was joyful, happy, and loving on all sides. Now the hard work begins. There are adjustments, choices, and decisions to make relating to what we hope is many years of love and happiness. We are in the process of building "our" home. I sold mine earlier and he has gifted his home to his children. Life in 2017 will certainly be exciting, different, and we both feel better. We both are on the same page with faith, values, and commitment to death do us part. K makes me a better woman and I like to think I make him a better man. My parents and our kids believe this to be true. I'm so very grateful that new beginnings are on the horizon. Our spouses died within 1 month of each other and I think they would both be very pleased that our paths have crossed. Blessings

I'm sorry you have to go through the pain but you SF are one honest amazing woman. You recognized the dishonesty, ended it, and considered it a learning lesson and are thankful for that. I've never experienced a situation where honesty is not the best policy. Be gentle with yourself. Better things ahead. ((Hugs))

Merry Christmas TofinoMan, CGirl, and All. My family voted we are all off the grid at noon today until 2017 although it is a stay at home holiday. The fun of board games, good food, laughter, and lots of love is shared. Lots of friends and family are gathering round and to Grandmother's house we go. Blessings

Best wishes, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Peace and Joy the rest of 2016 and may the New Year bring your family lots of love and good health.