Crying

[Guest running with scissors]

Am I the only one after 5 years who still cry's?  I am so sad,  I cry a lot.  No matter,  thoughts of the past or talking to someone, I have tears, that sometimes I cannot stop.  I miss him so much, my life has been on hold, although I try.  I get up every day and do what I need to but what mattered most to me is gone,  he's gone, and I will never feel like I use to.  I am sad, lost and lonely,,  It hurts, it hurts so bad.  I will never get over losing him.

 

 

 

 

[CarlyM]

No words, just hugs. I am 10 years out and I still cry, just not as regularly......xx

[Beyondlife]

5 years.  I don't cry.  Next to never.  I feel empty inside and I think I've turned off my feeling button.

Oh, wait.  I feel anger, often.

I am sad, lonely and lost too.  I don't often think about feeling like that, it's become a part of me.

And crying takes energy.  I don't have any. 

I do the daily life goes on thing and I'm pretty good at it.

I'm trying to find something in life that makes me happy and content (not just the moments of happy) haven't found it yet.

 

You are so not alone with these feeling.

Hugs

 

 

[SimiRed]

Six years, and yes, I still cry.

[Guest running with scissors]

I just don't know what to do to make me happy.  When I'm out, I want to go home.  Sometimes when I'm home I want to go out, but I know once I'm out I get this feeling that I'm all alone.  I am sad, lost and lonely too.  It's awful.  Some days I wonder why I'm still here.  I'm trying to get my kid out on their own and dealing with so much stress.  Thanks for the responses,  I still keep getting up everyday.  I guess I can give myself credit for that.

[MikeR]

rws,

 

9 years for me and I can't say I cry - but I do get teary from time to time. I miss her, too. We were truly soulmates.

 

But as you wrote, we will never feel as we used to. How can we? This event tore our lives apart! Even so, we are still here, like it or not. So we have to decide - how do we live the rest of our lives?

 

You wrote that you will never get over losing him. That phrase - get over - has sparked a lot of discussion on the former ywbb (the site that pretty much saved me). I think people take it in different ways - get over him/her as in pretend it never happened or doesn't matter, get over him/her and move on with life but not forget, get over him/her and find another love.

 

For me, it's not so much whether I get over what happened but what do I do with my life now that it did happen. I will never find someone to replace my wife, but I don't really want to. What I do want is to live the rest of my life with meaning, with love. Love for another person, if that is in the cards. Loving someone else doesn't diminish the love I have (and always will have) for my wife. But I believe that love is the whole point of our existence and I want that again.

 

The complication is to find someone who understands that I can love my wife but still love someone else. It shouldn't be that hard to understand. After all, I have two children and I love them both more than anything. As humans, we have an infinite capacity to love. I guess a certain amount of jealousy creeps in for those who don't understand what we've been through.

 

So for me, the focus hasn't been so much on wishing it never happened as on what do I do going forward. It's not easy though. I haven't found that new love. Sometimes I think I never will. But I try. I live day to day and keep looking for the happiness I desire. I also realize that there's more to life than just being happy. Thing is, it's different for everyone. I try to find what it means to me and we all have to do the same.

 

Most people don't ever have to think about the things we think about. In a somewhat perverted way we have the advantage of seeing a bigger perspective of life. Small compensation for what we've been through, but it's something positive - if you can see it that way.

 

Mike