found last years christmass cards

[phil]

hi i have had a terrible after noon, iv had a busy day getting the xmass decks down, my son helped, and i started pulling other boxs down just making space and i came across last year cards and the one jo wrote on mine last year ,my wonderfull husband, you mean the world to me ,cant wait to spendanother christmass together, love you everything. well i just compleatly broke down, i was ok pottering and iv cried buckets, feels like iv gone back a couple of weeks, i try and keep busy, but the pain waites for me, and when i have a moment or two bang, its still early 6 weeks since jo passed away, ,this is so hard

[br0peth]

Hang in there man.  I'm not looking forward to the Christmas either.

 

 

[phil]

thanks mate ,it just hit me ,my eyes still burning,  yea dreding xmass,  as jo allways made it special exspecially for the kids, i think its cancelled this year, and newyears day is our proper annerversary,, hope you get through ok

 

[br0peth]

My eyes has subsided a bit today.  I cried this morning at midnight when my 16 year anniversary came up.

 

I rang in our anniversasry last night watching the move Moon.  Probably not a good one to watch as I was sobbing watching it but comforting watching it.. if that makes sense and if you know the movie.

 

Again, hang in there man.  Reach out to me if you ever need.  I here on these boards too.

 

 

[phil]

hi friend yea that makes perfect sense but not know that film ill have to down load it,, all these dates suck, sorry to hear about your 16th,,annerversary  and your hear,  , i just hope my heads not permantly numb, hope you ok mate

 

[Virgo]

Christmas decorations already?  Good for you!  Christmas was the most difficult  'first ' for me. My family, going out of their way to do what they felt was best, made it even worse for me and my daughters. Our last Christmas together wasn't good either for similar reasons. Family doing what they felt was best.  Phil was going through chemo. Just take one day at a time.  I know it seems like lame advice, but it really helped me early on.

[Trying]

All of the firsts are so difficult to face.  No matter how busy you try to keep yourself the grief is still there waiting and keeps building until you let you out.  I say, keep your expectations low for the holiday, you don't need the pressure of trying to make it like it was before. 

[phil]

thanks virgo and trying, every one , yea i was looking to far of my self, yea it dont matter how busy i am it waits for me,, ,thanks again

[twistedmensa]

Our first Christmas without him was very subdued. Everything we owned was in storage and we were staying with my Mom. We didn't even put up a proper tree. I finally broke down and got a little 18 inch prelit musical tree for the kids' benefit. This year we are in our new home and I'm slightly more motivated to decorate.

[phil]

i think ill put the tree up ,its a strugle,  like you sorry youe hear buit will do it for the kids,, this sucks,, thank you sio much

 

[Jen]

We barely did Christmas last year. Nothing went up at my house, I just couldn't do it. My kids and my sister put the tree up at my mom's (since that's where we always do Christmas anyway). In January my mom and I moved into a house together, so this will be the first time Santa comes to "our" house. I don't even want to think about it. I'm off Christmas day, but I'm working 12/23, 12/24 and 12/26. Suits me fine. I'm dreading the holidays... which is sad, I always loved them so much. Not anymore. Hurts too much.