Trying to help my DD with learning

[ieh21]

My Eldest DD is struggling at school. Aces math but reading and writing are difficult. She's got a special plan and the teacher is all over it. I've got a tutor for one day of the week and the school has a volunteer service for help with homework once a week. Still. She's improving and working super hard but I am starting to worry. I think she might be dyslexic. She inverts her 3 sometimes, she's 8 so we should be past that. Her spelling is improving but it's never easy, and when she acquires words, it's hard to make it a long term thing. She gets 33% more time to do work and exams, she gets reading assignments in advance and she's a real trooper. But tonight I could see it is starting to wear her down. She complained that the other kids don't need special homework tutors and the school does it only to kids who have trouble. It's the first time she kind of acknowledges negatively that she has a problem. I quickly responded by saying that since her nanny doesnt have French as a first language, it's ME that needs help with her homework, not her. That her younger sister would get the same treatment once in school, whether or not she has a harder time learning. I can't be there to help every night and it's important that homework is well done. I told her that even if her dad was alive, he isn't a French speaker either, so I'd still need help. She seems to have been convinced. But my heart breaks and I feel overwhelmed. The teacher and special needs specialist are telling me that she doesnt need to be evaluated yet, to wait until February to see if all the measures put in place get her to improve. But I'm so afraid. I don't want to make a parenting mistake that has a lasting effect on her education. And on top of that, there's a teachers strike where I am so almost every week is interrupted by a strike day. My parents are no help. My father is set in his old school ways and just keeps complaining about the new teaching methods (ok maybe the methods are wrong but that's the system she's in so stop grumbling about it!) and my mom is anxious so freaks me out when I talk to her. Plus she doesnt want the girls to have anything but fun when she's with them, so she's not much for insisting on homework being done when Eldest DD spends a weekend at her house.

Anyway, much rambling... Sorry. I just want to protect her from difficulties, I want to give her all the tools she needs but right now, I feel I'm really not helping...

[iloveyoualways]

Ieh21, it is difficult when our children are struggling with learning and it adds to the stress of parenting for us. I understand.

 

I have and still am going through this with my seven year old son. It is hard to watch them struggle and feel inferior when they can't get it or succeed. My son had so many teachers last year that nobody seemed to be able to get him on the right path. He struggled and after hard days at school or clinical I would fight with him over his homework. It was my job to support what the school was doing not teach him myself. So I understand how frustrating it can be.

 

It seems like your daughter has a plan in place. I would give it some time to see if this plan helps. If not I would get her evaluated. Is there a long wait for an evaluation? If there is then put in the request now and if you see an improvement by February cancel it. If there is no or little wait then request the evaluation in February. It seems like you are doing a lot to help her now.

 

My son got a good teacher this year with whom I spoke to about his difficulties, including his father's death and very premature birth. She put a plan in place to help him. If I had to repeat last year I don't know if I could. He still flips a lot if his numbers and letters. I dont know when that becomes a bad sign.

 

I hope that she can continue down this new path and show some improvement. It seems like she has been struggling with this for a while. You seem to be doing a lot for her. Good luck with it.

 

[Trying]

It is so hard to see our kids struggle with anything, haven't they had enough to deal losing a parent so young?  The positive thing here is that you are not letting her use it as an excuse and you are right on top of getting her the help she needs.  She is learning from a very young age how to work hard and how to work around her difficulties.  Some of the brightest, most successful people have learning disabilities.  Continue with your efforts, keep reminding her of all of the things that come easy to her and praise her strengths. Then give yourself credit for being a great mom, you are giving your daughter the tools she needs for a lifetime of success.

[imissdow]

I had my DH evaluated last year.  Told her this was to help the teacher figure out how to teach her. She is very smart does well at math but was reading 2 years below grade level. She is almost 10 now and in the 4th grade. Best choice I made. almost a year later and she still struggles with reading but is now only a year behind. I worked with her over the summer I used the Davis method for her. It took awhile at first and we are still working at it little by little. I also went into the school and after several conferences they came up with a plan that seems to be working for her.  They incorporated a little of what I was doing and some other ideas.  It's been a really hard, painful and frustrating process and the end is still not in sight. I do however see progress and that is making it worthwhile.  I'm not sure were you are but here in the states once you put your request in writing the school has 90 school days to get the testing done and a written report in your hands. In my case it took just over a month. 

[Virgo]

I've always told my daughters that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. You shouldn't compare yourselves to others. We learn at our own pace. Then I emphasize their strengths.

 

I wouldn't worry.  Your daughter is really young. I bet it will just click for her eventually.  Sometimes all it takes is the right teacher or approach. 

 

My youngest daughter is 8, 3rd grade. She's reading at an 8th grade level, but has struggled with math. They started multiplication and division this semester and she loves it. It's starting to click. Last year she cried through her homework.

 

None of my girls really enjoy math. Ha!

[Sugarbell]

Does she go to a Reading Resource room outside of class? I know my daughter, last year in first grade struggled with reading and she would go to the resource room for like 30 minutes a day. It helped her so much. Just getting the more individual attention with specific sight words, etc. --She ended up only being there for 5 months then tested out and was back in her regular classroom all day.

 

This year in 2nd grade she loves reading..and reads all the time, is into all those AR reading points...And reads on a 3rd grade level. In first grade she was reading barely on a Kindergarten level. So kids abilities, maturity with learning changes so quickly when they are young. You are doing everything right!!