Joy and Heartache

[hachi]

This is my life. Every single day. I have so much joy, but it is wrapped in heartache. At our family gathering last night, my BIL (DH's only remaining brother) and his wonderful girl, hosting the party, made a surprise announcement. We have all been waiting for them to tell us they are going to get married. Well, they snuck off to the town hall yesterday and did it. Such a joyous moment. I am truly happy for them and so glad they did not wait another minute.

 

Even as I type this, I can't stop from tearing up as I did last night. Yes, outwardly they were tears of joy. But the truth is, all of these happy occasions are accompanied by this never-ending heartache. Will I ever get used to this pain? I suppose I will. I don't pay it as much mind anymore. But I know it's there. I am afraid if I ever stop feeling it, it will be because I can no longer feel anything, or it will have stopped beating altogether.

[MauiMermaid]

I understand this so well. Since my DH passed away, my SIL and BIL have both welcomed new babies to the world. It's joyful but terribly painful that he isn't here to see it. Having no kids of our own, we always said our nieces/nephews would be "our" kids in a way. Seeing them grow is a reminder of how much time has passed and how many memories he should have been a part of...

 

The never-ending heartache is part of our great love and I try to frame it that way to myself. We are resilient and will continue to adapt to our feelings. And, hopefully, the piercing pain will continue to soften over time.

 

(((Hugs to you))). I get it. xoxo

[Justin]

hachi,

 

I felt much the same way when I attended my brother's wedding two months after my wife died. He was finally getting married to the mother of three of his children - the day had been a long time coming. I was so very happy for them, but sad that Marsha was not here to see them get married. I found that I although I was genuinely glad, I experienced a quick let-down during the reception and left after not too much time.

 

It was just too much to think about their married life now beginning right after mine had just ended.

 

 

[Torn]

It's obvious that it's so tough to do / experience other couples great times after loosing your special person.

  I find myself in a difficult situation where my daughter & her husband are concerned, I feel such loss I can't honestly even see the beauty in young people's love.

[donswife]

both my nephews got married this summer ,my sister who died of cancer two years ago, they are her sons

so it was emotional to start with

yes joyous for the reason and I am happy good things are happening

but like you always some pings of heartache

To not have the person who would have just touched my arm during the Vows beside me

or to really know how important this was for them

I just miss him the most at these happy moments

take care

 

[MauiMermaid]

To not have the person who would have just touched my arm during the Vows beside me

I just miss him the most at these happy moments

 

My DH would always do this when we attended a wedding. Then he'd look over and whisper "I love you". I haven't been to a wedding since... not sure if I could make it through that alone.

[gracelet]

The first wedding I'll have been to since my own is in March. I'm terrified yet excited. You see, I'm going to be singing solo while my friend and her soon husband sign the register. I really hope I don't bawl and have to get up at the front all red.

 

I get it. Joy and heartache all at the same time. Mindfuck.

[JeanGenie]

Hachi,

I get what you're feeling as well.  Just a reminder of what we had and what we lost.  Weddings, anniversary celebrations...their joy, our heartache...all so difficult.  Sending you hugs...