online dating and phone numbers

[imissdow]

So I decided to try another stint on-line.  I've had a few guys message me.  When I started doing the on-line thing 3-4 years ago I would usually get a message send a few e-mail back and forth plan a meet maybe talking on the phone prior but maybe not. If we got along well we would exchange phone numbers and carry on . Lately it seems I get messages like I would like to talk more with you text me and a number.  If I just got one message like this I really wouldn't think much about it but it seems like every other first message is something like this. Is this the new norm? 

I was chatting with my sister last night and she suggested I do a reverse search on my phone to see what info I could find.  My number is my DH's old business number, I kept his phone number to close up shop when he died and I have kept it.  So his business information came up.  Just to see what would happen I also did a reverse search on one of the numbers I was given.  I got a name address, license plate and vin number.  I was just a little surprised with how much information came up. 

 

So do you give out your phone number early and feel safe about it or wait until you get a feel for who your talking to.  I got a new phone for Christmas and can now block numbers so that helps but I still haven't decided how to handle all this.

[Torn]

Being that the "cell phone" age is the most active form of communication these days texting has become the new small talk/ phone call arrangement medium.

  Please know this is my take on exchanging numbers & being we can block these numbers as easy as clicking a button,your pretty safe.

  I wish you the best~ToRn

[Forgottenwife]

I think its the norm - and it worked well for me.

 

When I first tried online dating, I chatted by email for weeks with someone. It seemed he just wanted to chat forever and possibly never meet! As I got more comfortable, I gave a couple of men my phone number the very first day we connected online. We talked that night or the next day and I preferred it, I could then decide if I wanted to continue talking to them right away.

 

That being said, you should do whatever is comfortable for you. I know a lot of my friends prefer chatting for a little while before they give a number.

 

Also, a great online tip. Get a google number. It is my understanding that it cannot be traced to you personally.

[RobFTC]

It is becoming more the norm to swap cell phone numbers earlier and going to texting.  I like texting for short communications ("Hey - running late"!), but will not get into heavy conversations again, still got burn scars from that.  One woman would text back and forth for a half-hour but refuse to answer the phone ringing in her hand when I'd call - that's just ridiculous.

 

A Google number for voice is good, but can you text to those?  For those on match.com, they have a low-cost option to give out a virtual number that routes to you without your real information being exposed.  That's probably also voice-only.

 

I am mixed on whether or not I want to talk to someone on the phone before I meet them; I am pretty happy just meeting in person if that feels OK.  But I am good on the phone, and don't mind when someone wants to prequalify that way.  A couple of times when I have sensed skittishness, I have given out my number and let women know that calling me with caller ID blocking would be fine.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Momtojandj]

I have tried talking to guys before on phone, and also just meeting them without much communication . Honestly , I prefer to meet quick, I don't like talking and talking (or texting , emailing) a guy and getting personal until I see if there is even a connection . I have found some guys that ask to email another way , could be scammers or wanting to send nude pictures .

[Guest TalksToAngels]

I can't do the texting, and waiting. If you have something to say, pick up the phone, let's meet. Yes important to know who you're talking to, getting to know, etc., but too much texting or talking (before actually meeting), is imo, a waste of time. Almost everyone I ever talked to online, either you have a positive feeling, or not, right from the start.

[Carey]

some of them want to say and do things that would get them thrown off the site. They don't like there being a record online of what they are saying. I personally think it's a red flag if my phone number is asked for too soon.

[imissdow]

So anyways I decided to text him set up a meet.  Was suppose to meet for coffee today.  He's a runner as am I.  I also lift a couple times a week and deliver freight for the last 16 years.  In our conversation he asked me how tall I was and what I weigh. Also asked for a body shot.  I told him there was one on my profile. There"s actually 2 one of me crossing the finish line at a 5K and another of me in my running attire.  They are about a year old. I started lifting in January of last year.  So from my height and weight he decided I was fat and choose to stand me up.  I texted him about 15mins after we were suppose to meet. He asked for a body shot. I told him no and called him on his rude behavior.  He said I've been burned before. I said so have I and I still have manners your loss, I'm hot.

 

I am 5'9" and weigh 180. I can wear a size 8 or 10. I'm far from fat.  I'm so much better off without him. He showed his true colors pretty early. However It still stings. Dating Sucks.

[RobFTC]

Sorry to hear that, imissdow.  He should have cancelled ahead if he was really worried about your physique.  Asking for a recent photo I get, but I would not act like this about it.

 

I had three possibilities before Christmas - a woman I had dated twice, a woman who had just moved, and a woman who was going out of town but would be back for the final week of December.  OK, I guess four - but one surprised me by needing dinner on our first date and then switching a lunch date at the last minute to a Benihana-like place($60) and making vague statements of regret about the cost, so I wasn't that excited to call her again.  The moving lady punted to next week, which is fine with me.  The out-of-towner seemed pretty interested before Christmas, but has read a couple of my messages this week without replying, so I feel a little stood up myself.  But the third date is close to set with the one I have met, and she's the most straightforward and communicative of the lot.  So it could be going as it should.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[momtokam]

Sorry imissdow...but you now know he is an idiot and not someone you would want to meet anyways.

 

I will give my cell# only, not a home#, after a few messages on the site.

I have recently done a call to one and blocked my number initially.  It was actually his suggestion to me to make me feel more comfortable.  He wanted to talk sooner than I would have liked. Once you move to texting you can't hide your number I don't think. We are still chatting and plan to meet this week. We shall see. He seems a little too smitten for not having met yet.

 

Rob, I think that one lady was looking for you to finance her nice meals!

Good luck on date 3 with the other lady!

 

Dating does suck!

 

 

 

[ladybug]

Dating is very strange.  I have been on  a few dates.  The problem, I find is that the men wait weeks between dates.

 

One guy asks me out about two times a month.  He seems interested, but I don't understand why the big gap in the dates.  The dates always go good. 

 

Maybe, he dates others in between our dates.  Not sure what to think at this point.

 

Thanks for starting this post.....it is very interesting to see how  others are coping in this area.

[momtokam]

Oops! Wrong thread! 😁