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New friend in a coworker


skipd
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I really just wanted to share this story.

 

Sometime in the spring last year, a coworker of mine lost her child at birth.  It was quite devastating for her, and shortly after we gave birth to my daughter with no complications.  The day after, another friend of ours had a baby and both her and the baby almost died, spending 3 weeks in the hospital each before being released.  We counted our blessings.

 

I never knew how to approach my coworker after that.  I kind of avoided her as I could, but it wasn't too difficult a task.  However, I sought her out today.  As I walked into her classroom, she greeted me with a smile and almost instantly teared up.  We talked for over an hour about processing the loss and grief in general.  I spoke freely, as did she, and even brought up the above scenarios to her.  Even though the losses are different, the grief is binding now.  In a world of DGI, I think I may have found a very close new friend that will be mutually beneficial for the both of us.

 

Today was her first day back after taking a few months off for counseling, so we are both somewhat starting this new chapter together.

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I never knew how to approach my coworker after that.  I kind of avoided her as I could, but it wasn't too difficult a task.  However, I sought her out today.  As I walked into her classroom, she greeted me with a smile and almost instantly teared up.

 

 

I think we've all known that deep feeling of loneliness -abandonment- as well as thinking we know the words that will comfort us but not knowing what will work for others.

I'm glad you took the time to commiserate with her, I'm certain it made her feel accepted and much less lonely in the world. Kudos to you.

I'm sorry it came at such a high price to wear her shoes, but sometimes its the only way to grasp the full meaning of someone else's pain/loss.

Very brave of you to bring up this topic of how we can all be DGIs.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How puzzling all these changes are! I'm not sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another." said Alice

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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In the months preceding DH's death, a close co-worker was going through fertility trouble, and it affected her deeply.  I was her support person at work, and when DH died, it brought us even closer.  I moved away and we're not as close now, but I will always be so grateful to her, she was hugely important in my life when I really needed that kind of haven and comfort and support.  Really glad for you.  Sometimes we are too quick to think that only widow(er)s can understand and be of help. 

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