Friday night Brownie troop owl sighting hike

[Guest TooSoon]

I was at a conference in DC this week.  On Wed, having had two stressful days prior at work and trying to make sure I'd gotten everything here in relative order and put elaborate childcare and bussing  arrangements in place, I got M up, ready, fed and on the bus, dropped stuff for M at my mother's house where she'd be staying (but with my mother it is never just dropping it off - has to become some protracted discussion about her learning or have I done this or that), drove to Philly, got on the train to DC, indulged in (I say indulged but it really is work for me no matter how much I enjoy it or how much it doesn't sound like work) 7 hours at museums that afternoon and evening which wore me out as I'm in terrible shape what with all the walking and standing up and thinking about history (yes, this tires me out, too).  It also happened to be the 3rd anniversary for me.  A museum was exactly where I needed to be!  I did spend the day happy, seeing things I know Scott would have loved seeing himself and it didn't make me sad that he never did.  Progress!, trudged my way to my hotel, went to bed, got up early, interviewed people in hour long blocks all day long, had two social/work meetings in the evening with people in my field, crashed out, got up early, walked to the train station, took the train back to Philly, drove home from Philly, picked up M from school, fed her, made her change into winter gear (no easy feat) for a Brownie owl sighting hike or some such and found all "required" (in her mind only) things one needs for an owl sighting hike (first aid kit (!?), flashlight (where might that be?), I drew the line at insect repellent in February), sent her off, fielded a work phone call about the job search, wrote a draft of an email to schedule interviews with chosen finalists and have just stopped and might collapse.

 

That was in just over 48 hours.  But what I wanted to say here is that I had RSVPed with a no a few days ago for the Brownie owl thing knowing how tired I would be tonight but a Brownie Mom who lives a few blocks away from me but with whom I have no relationship other than pick- up pleasantries texted yesterday, unsolicited, and said she wanted to take her (not would but wanted to) and would pick her up and drop her off.  Two significant things here:  she offered that just out of the blue, just to be nice, just to make sure M got to go.  and per previous conversations on this board, I actually took her up on it.  I let her help me.  I let her give me a chance to have a 3 hour break tonight.  And my kid gets to have fun.  And though I like owls so very much, not tonight. Even more importantly,  I don't feel guilty or like a bad Mommy.  At all.  Sometimes - ok rarely but still - people - when you least expect it - do come through, usually the ones you would never think might, especially years out.  I'm so grateful. 

 

A little ramble.  Thanks for listening. 

[Captains wife]

Love when people do acts of kindness out of the blue. And glad u got a nice break : )

[Guest TooSoon]

Had not realized I'd written such a screed.  So much of my life is just holding the operation together and putting on and taking off hats or wearing multiple hats at once and fielding waaaaay more questions about food and snacks and, as tonight 30 minutes before said owl hike, "Why have you never put my kiln together?" (kiln is brought in pieces into kitchen)  And I say, "We can't do this now because you're going on the owl hike in 30 minutes."  The response to which is, "But that's plenty of time."  To which I say, "Get your shoes on and find a hat and mittens."  I have riffs on this conversation like ten times a day and it is relentless.  I'm really tired.  Tired from caregiving, tired from parenting, tired from work, tired from being unwilling to let all of the work I've done and my ambitions fall by the wayside.  It really was such a relief not to have to go owl sighting tonight.  Maybe I am a bad cynical Mommy but I didn't want to go.  OK, determined not to go there.  But am still so grateful that this nice Mom gave me a few hours to sort myself.

[ManutesGirl]

That's so great that Mom offered to help and you accepted it. I think I mentioned it previously but my niece is a sophomore at KU.  She has a car this year, lots of experience babysitting, gets the grief thing,  awesome kid (no bias here) etc...PM me if you want her info.  She may be able to help you both on a regular basis or when you are in a pinch.

[SoVerySad]

No self-labeling as a bad Mommy allowed, dear girl! As always, just reading your schedule exhausts me. I'm so glad that another mother stepped up to give you a well-earned reprieve for a few hours and so pleased you took her up on it. Now M will be able to tell you all about her owl hunting adventures as you put the kiln together. J/K! Sending love and hugs!!!

[Guest TooSoon]

SVS, you guessed it - straight out of the gate this morning at 7 with owl videos and requests for kiln assembly.......

[ieh21]

Isnt it liberating to accept help? It's so easy to try to do it all, requires less coordinating and planning but you know what, an hour while someone else is in charge, that's priceless. Good for you: yes you can do it ALL. But there isn't a gold star handed to you for succeeding. It takes a village...