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Agonising dreams


Silwe
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I seem to be plagued by agonising dreams of my fiance, who passed away in 2013. The dreams are always a little different, but they follow the same pattern: at first I am happy, living with New Guy. Then suddenly, it is revealed that my first fiance never died or was resurrected somehow. My first fiance is very happy and wants us to continue like nothing had happened, then it dawns on him that I have moved on. All the time, there is a little voice in my head saying CHOOSE, CHOOSE, CHOOSE.

I hate those dreams! I know I don't have to choose. But still. I was so happy with DF, but now I'm equally happy with New Guy - perhaps even happier. But I am a completely different person now than I used to be... Gah these dreams are driving me nuts!

 

Sorry for the rant... This just seems to be the only place to talk about things like this. Thank you for 'listening'. <3

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Silwe, I had a similar dream last night.  DH was back with no explanation and no discussion about the life I have been building since he left.  NG didn't come up specifically but it was clear that he was taking over being the decision maker and I was expected to go along.  I woke up upset that he didn't take me into his arms or seem to care about all I have been through.  I hate that most of my dreams about him have been unhappy.

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Dreams are tough. My nightmares come and go. Sometimes it's the mundane dreams like yours that hurt the most, though.

 

practice good sleep hygiene, but if you do wake up with the heart racing, don't bother trying to get back to sleep.  Go for a walk and process the feelings as best you can before returning to bed.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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