Therapy?

[Needytoo]

Hello everyone, hope everyone is doing well. 

 

It has been 3 years since my husband?s passing and even though it has been a very hard road I do feel I have come a long way.  But (always has to be that dam but) I still felt I have some issues so I thought it was about time to try to deal with these issues. 

 

I work way too much and also love to get out and try new things and keep finding new hobbies.  All of this I think is great if you can balance it all, and once in a while feel a little stretched too thin, but honestly I love it.  I love the challenge of just taking life by the horns.    I also want to start to date, and online dating is a weird thing that is for sure. 

 

I can feel very open and loving but also very cold at times.  If and when I do start a relationship I really want an intimate relationship, one where you can just share everything with your partner. So I started online therapy.  It was odd at first but after a few emails back and forth I got the hang of it.  The therapist is helping me to start to develop boundaries something I am embarrassed to admit I really never did in my life.  My husband was an alcoholic and I was a co-dependent but I can?t blame that trait all on him because I feel I was one even before.  I am struggling with this but I am making a conscious awareness of how much I lack boundaries in my life. 

 

There is this other therapist who offers creative writing workshop for women and I finally got in, I started last week.  The therapist is able to dig out that ?shit? deep within your core.  Not sure why digging out that shit is so draining but I swear I could sleep for a week.

 

I have questions to ask but having a hard time thinking of the correct words to ask.  Maybe I am trying to ask is really working on all the ?shit? worth it?   

 

[Mizpah]

I think if you ask 10 people that question, you'll get 10 different answers.  You're the one who gets to decide.  But since you asked....  hahaha

 

I think yes.  I think a big big yes.  I think that going to therapy is a major public service we provide for the people who love us and deal with us.  I think that any person, no matter how well-adjusted to even the easiest life, can benefit from therapy.  I think there is inherent value in being aware of the patterns of behavior and thought that we engage in as well as their potential sources.  I think therapy helps us to be mindful and moral and healthy.  I think having a time/place just for ourselves helps us be less self-involved and self-centered out in the world.  It can give you a calm, knowing you can get this out somewhere at some time.  It can validate your feelings while helping you find better ways to deal with or express and interpret those feelings.  It's kind of like working out, but instead of strengthening your muscles and heart and lungs, you're strengthening your mind and heart and soul.  (Can you tell I LOVE therapy?!  Hahahaha.)  I think it's an act of the brave - my boyfriend, when pushed to face certain things, will say, "Why should I have to relive my pain?"  It's a good question, but I think refusing to face things is not brave, and I think it keeps us weak and scared, dependent on avoidance and denial.  I find it easier to live when I can state the worst of the worst, and examine it, and continue to function.  I think it's hard, but worth it. 

 

Ok, ok, I'll stop now! 

[Lisa]

It is worth it to me.

[Guest sphoc]

I don't know how I got through the last three years without therapy. It can be tricky finding the right therapist for you, but I felt much more secure talking to him about things than people in my family.

[Out_of_the_Blue]

Awesome that you're doing this. Online therapy helped me get through the trauma of my husband's cancer diagnosis and illness. It gave me coping strategies to manage stress and anxiety. I still use them today in other situations. Online therapy really worked for me.

[Needytoo]

Thank you for all your replies. 

 

I thought I was doing so well but deep down I knew there were those "things" that I just didn't wanted to face but knew I had to.  It isn't fun at all but I am finally facing all the shit.  Not sure what else to call it.