It still amazes me!

[still_lost]

I have an almost zero tolerance for BS and the stupid things that people do. I've found that I view things differently now, and things that I once thought were problems, really weren't in comparison to much bigger things. I'm not easily rattled like I once was. I have the normal stresses that we have after losing a spouse, but the things that once scared me, no longer have as much power over me. I'm amazed that friends and family members behave like the world is ending over the dumbest things. I can't help but get annoyed with a cousin who continues to stay in a relationship with a man that she hates. She calls every so often to tell me about their newest drama, and how the cops were called., etc., etc., only for the two of them to be hugged up in pics on FB. I have stopped listening to the drama and rants that's she calls me with on a regular. I just can't be bothered. I was always the shoulder for everyone else to cry on, but once my world was turned upside down, not a soul was really there for me. I've changed, and I've decided that I only have to care for myself and my child. I shouldn't be surprised, but even after all this time it amazes me how thoughtless and self-centered people can really be.

[klim]

Interesting observations...it's sad that we have this perspective now but it does enable us to view many situations differently.

[First Widow]

I'm not easily rattled like I once was. I have the normal stresses that we have after losing a spouse, but the things that once scared me, no longer have as much power over me.

 

This is one of the things that's surprised me the most about myself now.  I rarely worry about anything from this new perspective.  I can remember stressing about the logistics of picking DD up from freshman year at college in DC last spring when DH was here to help and do all the driving, but this past year I was completely  relaxed even though I was doing it myself, even with a new location and smaller vehicle.

 

I definitely have to bite my tongue when those around me are losing their minds over the most trivial of things. 

 

[MikeR]

still_lost,

 

I, too, have changed my perspective on what's important in life. My wife had a book called, "Don't Worry About The Small Stuff - And It's All Small Stuff". How true!

 

What I believe has happened is that we have grown in a way that most people (those who have not experienced a similar life-changing event) have not. I think it's spiritual growth (not to be confused with religious growth) and it's one of the most valuable lessons we can learn here on Earth.

 

It's a horrible price to pay for such growth, but at least there is some good that can come from what has happened to us all.

 

Mike