Parenting successes

[gretchen437]

It seems like it is a common theme in the parenting section is for us to blame ourselves for all our failures. I do not know how many times I have broken down feeling like a complete failure as a parent. I just wanted to try this thread out to have a place for anyone who wishes to post about any parenting successes big or small. Some of the time it is easier to focus on the negative, I hope this thread forces me (and maybe others) to see the positive.

 

My success statement of the day is not really a success so much as a hopeful predictor of the future. I think I will make it as an only parent because I am a geeky tomboy who loves princesses. My disregards for social norms also allows me to permit my children to be as wholly silly as they like. Lets hope this is a good thing

 

 

Anyone else wish to share?

[Guest Lost35]

This is a great idea for a thread, as for the most part, our cheerleading section is smaller or non-existent compared to before being widowed. 

 

You sound like a great Mamma, and I think enjoying and encouraging your kids to be silly is one of the best things you can do for them!

 

I'll add my own;

 

Yesterday my little guy got his Kindergarten report card and it was so great to read how much his teacher enjoys having him in the classroom, and how much she notices and appreciates the support and encouragement he gets at home.  It really washed away a great many of my fears and insecurities to read that. 

 

-L.

[MrsDan]

I've been wondering why this thread hasn't taken off like the brag on your kid one. I think it's because we tend to see our kids' successes as just that - theirs. But when they struggle, we blame ourselves. I'm not sure why that is, or if it's even something unique to widowhood. Myself, I've really been struggling with my failings as a parent lately. Some of it is due to circumstances more clearly out of my control. Others, I know directly correlate to my grief and though I'm not sure how much control over that I have either, it's easier to blame myself than it is for the other stuff.

 

I consider it a parenting success that DD loves hip hop. That might sound weird, and I'm sure some of it is genetic as Dan loved music and hip hop. But I play it for her, sing it to her. She has this toy guitar that has a hip hop setting; it plays the lamest version of Shoo Fly you've ever heard. I'm like nice try, my kid listens to KRS-One.

[gretchen437]

I've been wondering why this thread hasn't taken off like the brag on your kid one. I think it's because we tend to see our kids' successes as just that - theirs. But when they struggle, we blame ourselves. I'm not sure why that is, or if it's even something unique to widowhood. Myself, I've really been struggling with my failings as a parent lately. Some of it is due to circumstances more clearly out of my control. Others, I know directly correlate to my grief and though I'm not sure how much control over that I have either, it's easier to blame myself than it is for the other stuff.

 

I consider it a parenting success that DD loves hip hop. That might sound weird, and I'm sure some of it is genetic as Dan loved music and hip hop. But I play it for her, sing it to her. She has this toy guitar that has a hip hop setting; it plays the lamest version of Shoo Fly you've ever heard. I'm like nice try, my kid listens to KRS-One.

 

MrsDan I agree that this didn't become as popular as the other thread because we do often view our parenting successes as the same as our children's accomplishments.

 

Also, I too consider it a parenting success that my children love the music my husband and I love. They love his favorite band (System of a Down) and one of my favorite bands (Bad Religion). They are doomed to be trouble ;D

[mmg19]

This is a great thread.  At times I feel my parenting failures far out weigh parenting successes.  It's good to reflect and look at the entire picture.  Both of my boys have done well academically this year.  Their teachers have commented on the study habits and the completion of projects started.  This thread has made me realize that the daily encouragement(sometimes nagging) that has become part of our daily routine is teaching them the value of school work and the responsibility of doing the best they can. 

 

Another success is being a team player.  Both boys know that for this family we all pitch in.  Everybody cleans, cooks, does chores, and helps each other.  Sometimes it is not pleasant and the bickering stars, but after 15 months I am starting to hear "Do you need help?  Let's work together and then we can go out and play."  Not huge successes but better than the alternative.  I still have trouble comprehending that I am doing this alone without an adult male in the house. 

[Eddienhp]

I am often (weekly) fighting the bad parent monster. I feel like I can't do enough, could do it better, etc. Yet teachers at school tell me I am an amazing parent. I don't understand how we have such different views. I guess they see I do try.

 

I'm not sure if these are parenting successes but they impressed me:

My son with autism participated in the general ed musical without assistance. He was flawless and looked indistinguishable from his peers. Way to go Jo. You worked hard and proved you CAN do it. I will make sure to remind the CSE committee when they make their recommendations for placement.

 

My daughter didn't know I was at the school. She happened to be passing by in a line of hand holding kindergarteners. She shouted Mommie and jumped up and down to get my attention. She had the biggest smile. I went to give her a big hug and sent her on her way.

 

Both of my kids drawings contain people with happy faces. That really got me. Especially considering all they have been through.

 

I may not be the best parent but I am always trying to instill self confidence, good morals and to appreciate the simple things in life. Kudos to all of you hard working parents!

Eileen

 

 

[Sugarbell]

My daughter!

 

My once shy backward child...who didn't speak until almost 4...Who I have had in speech therapy since she was 3...who I once had tested for every development delay known to man (I was so worried cause her brother were very verbal very young)..Has lots of friends now, is confident, gets great behavior reports at school and works so hard to keep up (overachiever)

 

Tonight in dance class she was selected for the competition dance team with her studio. Only 2 out of 34  7/8 year old were picked. She will stay with the troupe through high school but the instructor likes to have 2 new young students each year.

 

So proud!

[Guest TooSoon]

Love this!  I spend a lot of time fighting the Bad Mommy monster, too, because Scott and Marina were much closer and more alike than she and I ever were or are.  But on a good day, I know we're finding our own new ways to connect.  And I know she knows she can tell me anything and I will work with her.  I know she trusts me.

 

But here is my parenting success.  I gave the keynote speech at the big annual fundraiser for the grief camp she goes to through UPenn (Camp Kesem - if your child lost a parent to cancer, look it up!  It is amazing!) and in the introduction the counselors said, "There are a lot of stories we could tell about Kitten (her camp name) but what Kitten brings to Camp is that she makes fast friends with everyone she meets."  My child is not going to be a scholar (artist, yes; scholar, no) but she is kind and she is loving and open and trusting and if that's where she is after half of her life has been sickness, death and grief, then, even if I can't take much credit, it is still a success. 

 

SB, I still think our children need to collectively start some sort of kickstarter campaign and build on their enterprising spirits! 

 

 

[Sugarbell]

Definitely TS!!!

 

With our daughters creative spirit...and Bossy Boys business acumen....they would be unstoppable!!

 

Keynote speaker!! You go girl!!

[Guest TooSoon]

Thank you; I couldn't say no to the counselors who are just too awesome for words.  I brought a veteran public speaking widow from ywbb with me as a date to help get me through it (though of course all I managed to do was make her cry).  I was completely traumatized by the whole speech making thing, even as a teacher, go figure.  Those college kids raised more than 20K that night! 

 

M might have the business acumen (a gene from my entrepreneurial Greek immigrant side), too. We are onto something here:  early retirement?!