Tired of being alone

[imissdow]

It's been 5 years since my LH died. I've dated some with little success. The guy who lasted the longest I dated about 4 months. He worked nights and we only saw each other on the weekends. Probally part of the reason I dated him that long. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever get used to being alone.

Life is good. My kids are doing well. I have good friends who really care about me. My job is secure and I typically like it. My house is now in a good neighborhood and is good shape. I get out regularly, take classes, meet new people. I'm ok going places alone, restaurants ,sporting events.  Yet I so miss having someone to"do life with".  Yet I'm really tired of trying to meet someone.

Do you ever get used to it? My sister tells me solitude is addictive. I have yet to find that to be true.  So, thought?  Does it ever get easier? Is there anything that helps?

 

[klim]

I'm 3 1/2 years out and my feelings would be much like yours. I'm not sure solitude is growing on me. I think I'm designed to do things together with a partner....

[momtokam]

It's been 4+ for me and I feel the same way as you.

 

I dated someone for almost a year, mostly every other weekend. It didn't work for a variety of reasons. Dabbled in dating here and there since, mostly from online, nothing to write home about. Attempted a very long distance relationship and learned I couldn't do that either. I need someone close to me. When or if someone special may happen, I have no clue.

 

I'm tired of it too. Tired of doing everything on my own, but tired of looking too.

 

I know I'm not used to it.

 

I don't think I have offered any advice, but wanted you to know I completely understand.

 

[RobFTC]

Yup, the alone-ness resonates off the walls here.  I keep having these little scenes of dating that all fall short of going the distance somehow.  I am good at managing alone, but I am feeling it more this year, and this time of year.  match.com has been better for me lately, so I have some cause to hope when I am not waiting for things to go wrong.

 

On the flip side, the title of the post reminded me of this great Al Green song! :-)

 

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Quixote]

Yep.  Five years and change out, hate being alone, hate being "single".  Of course, much of that is tied in with specifically missing my wife.  But much is also the misery of going through life by yourself. 

 

For all that, in the last five years, I've been on possibly one date (still not sure if it was or not).  Maybe having had an incredibly close and mutually supportive marriage has ruined me.  I hate being alone, but a shallow relationship wouldn't really fix that.

[Needytoo]

I am also tired of being alone and also tired of looking.  In my case I am also looking for friendships as well as a relationship. My closest friendship is over and I think it is beyond help and although I gave her a another chance she cancelled  10 minutes before we were suppose to meet up for supper.  Nice friend.

 

I do a lot of activities and have meet a lot of people but still can't say I have found a friend but I am ok doing it all on my own but it would me nice to have someone to share it with. 

 

As far as relationships I keep trying the online thing until I need a break.  Been chatting and talking with one guy on the phone and he has so many qualities I am looking for, but he lives 3 hours away. I just can't see how this is going to work.

[Captains wife]

For some reason, I didn't forsee how difficult it would be to recouple after I lost my husband suddenly. I thought that I wouldn't be single 4.5 years on in the process....I have dated and had "boyfriends" but the togetherness that I had with my husband or even past boyfriends was never there in any post widow relationship. Unfortunately or fortunately, I am now getting very used to my own life and sharing it with my son. I try and keep a relatively busy social and family calendar to stave off the loneliness. I used to really want to recouple much earlier on (I craved it and was so envious of all the couples in my town) but I don't feel that any more. I was seriously getting ok with just casual dating (online) and started telling people that I was likely going to be on my own for a long time. Recently, I very unexpectedly met someone who I quite like so we shall see. But I still don't have the longing to recouple that I used to have. So I get it...but I do also think humans weren't generally meant to be alone.....Hugs to us all....

[sikeuritgadeun]

Seven years and I am still alone.  A few dates but nothing has evolved into anything.  I suppose I am getting along on my own but it would sure feel good to know I had someone to love and who loved me.  It is a scary thought that I may be alone forever.  I was happily married, I hope that one day things will start looking brighter for me.