wedding, baby, funeral all in 6 months

[Kismet]

My Husband died at the age of 33. I met him when he was 17. We spent our teenage years together and then our early twenties we grew apart but always stayed in touch. Whether he would show up for a random lunch date or a late night phone call we never let too much time go by until I was about 23. I got into a toxic relationship with a man that was physically and emotionally abusive. In that time frame I fell pregnant. The pregnancy gave me the strength to leave and never turn back. My Husband and I slowly started talking after my son was born. It took about a year until we officially started dating again. Once that happened I knew that he was the one for me and I would never be with anyone else. He was my soulmate. I think I had known in the past but was too young and foolish to see it that I had to grow up a little to really appreciate him for who he was. He always treated my son like his own. We kept talking about getting married but just never seemed to find the time to plan it. Then finally this year we went on a fishing trip with my parents and told them that we wanted to go to the courthouse and just do it but no they wanted a big wedding. So we agreed and I was able to plan a fairytale wedding in 6 weeks flat! This was the last week of January. February 13th came along and I found out I was pregnant! We were overjoyed as we had been trying on and off for the past 3 years and started to think that it wasn’t in the cards for us. So we had the wedding end of March and slowly anticipated the arrival of our new baby. Midway through the pregnancy they discover that I am dilating and need to have a stitch put in so that I don’t go into pre term labor. This in turn has to be removed prior to you going into labor. So at 36 weeks we came to the hospital for the routine surgery that should take about 10 minutes. I wake up an hour later only to find out that they are not able to remove the stitch and the process of cutting it out it has cut open inside of me and they are afraid I am hemorrhaging and need to perform an emergency C section. I can see the fear in my husband’s eyes but he holds my hand through the whole thing. The baby is out but is having trouble breathing on his own as he is 4 weeks early and is taken into the NICU. I am wheeled into our own room to recover from the C-section. My Husband never leaves my side for 4 straight days. On the 5th day when they release me from the hospital but allow us to stay in the room with the baby he says that he wants to go sell our car (we had wanted to purchase and SUV) Things have calmed down with the baby and I am back on my feet I know that he has been with me all this time so I tell him to go get some air enjoy the day. We cuddle in bed for a little bit and he kisses me goodbye. That is the last time I see my husband alive. While driving to his parents house he cuts someone off and this someone is some sort of psycho path that waits for over 2 hours for him to leave his parents house again. I call my husband and ask when he will be returning to the hospital as it was getting late he tells me he will be there in 15 minutes but he never makes it. The person followed him and shot him 5 times 3 minutes after we spoke on the phone. Sorry for all of the choppy details if I really got into it this would be pages and pages I just wanted to get the gist of the story. So now I sit a week away from it being 2 months since he died with our newborn son in a total state of depression. The shock has worn off but it still gut wrenching to think about. I loved him so much. I didn’t need anyone else in my life. Had we been stuck on a deserted island I would have been content with it just being him and I. I could have gotten through everything with him by my side. I was always a worry wart and he was more adventurous telling me that everything would always be alright. Well everything is not alright!!! He’s gone and no one can make feel better. I know they try and I try to be social and talk to people otherwise I get really deep into sadness when I’m left at home for to long. I just don’t see the point in it all. He was made for me. People even try to tell me your vows were till death do you part that you need to find a father for your kids. First off I can’t even understand how they can come out and say this less than 2 months after he passes these people mentioning these things are his family members. I had to plan a wedding a baby and a funeral all In one year. I just love him so much and I don’t want to do life without him but I have no choice and I hate it. I hate all of it. I just want him back I want him to be here to watch our kids grow. To top it off he died on our 6 month wedding anniversary so our one year wedding anniversary will mark 6 months since he died. Why can’t I wake up from this nightmare. 

[sojourner]

Kismet, I am so sorry. Everyone here, though the circumstances vary, knows the gut-wrenching loss of our loves. I find it priceless, even when I don't have it in me to post much. It's a place where I know others truly get what it's like. I hope you find some comfort here.

 

Wishing you peace-

Sojourner

[MR]

Hi Kismet,

Sorry to see you here but somethings in life cannot be explained and are better left to god. Take care of your baby and yourself.

 

MR

[Julester3]

Your circumstances are very sad. I'm sorry you are a victim of a serious rage crime and it had such a tragic result. It never ceases to amaze me how much hate can be out there sometimes. You have so much going on just having had a baby and having an older child as well. Please take it easy and give yourself time while you recover. Hugs for you this weekend!

[Laura1612]

I'm very very sorry about your story.

[Mcdc10]

Very sorry for your loss.  Hugs and prayers for you.