Godparents, official and adopted

[RobFTC]

My girls are 16 today.  We planned to go out to dinner as a family tonight, and talked about whether or not we should invite anyone.

 

We thought of the girls official godparents.  They had made talked about getting together during Christmas break last year, and had even set up a day and time for it, and then something else came up.  We'd get together soon, they said.  Still waiting.  We talked about that, and there was a desire to get connected with them again, but not for this birthday thing.

 

We thought about an older couple we know from church that we used to be close to.  They still always talk to the girls when they see them, and they're one of the sets of people we have talked about pulling back in closer.  So I wrote them an e-mail to invite them at the start of the week.  After a couple of days, I got a call from her, saying that she hoped they could come, but that her husband was stressed about stuff at work and she was unhappy that he wasn't responding to the e-mail.  She hoped he'd respond that night, still listening to the crickets.  They would just have to let me know before I ask for a table at the restaurant, and be willing to eat a meal I've offered to pay for.  Might still happen, but I am sad.

 

I would just like people to act like they care about us.  I *know* it's different since Michelle died, believe me, she was so much fun.  But I'd like to feel like we're worthy of not being discarded.  I have dealt with some of this personally, but it's harder when it includes the girls, on a special day.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Mrskro]

Rob;

 

I have no advice or words of encouragement but wanted to you to know I hear you.  I didn't understand people very well before being widowed, I understand them even less now. 

 

You are a better person than I am.  I'm flat out angry at the people that said they'd be there for my kids and have abandoned them.  I get I'm a hot mess but that doesn't mean people had to drop my kids like a hot potato. 

 

This journey sucks enough for them without losing other adults who were supposed to be a part of their lives.

 

I hope the couple comes.

 

Hugs

Nic

[MR]

Hi Rob,

Happy Birthday for girls. I think after been in our situation we get more sensitive and even small things can trigger our emotions E.g when my LW was with me I didn't care if someone would have set we will invite you and then call back but now if that happens it feels like it is due to our specific situation. I think it is best to ignore just AH and move forward as the most imp thing for us to take care of kids.

Manoj

[trying2breathe]

Rob  Happy Birthday to your girls!  I understand the frustration and sadness of trying to organize something like this.  DD turned 16 soon after we moved, it took everything that I had to try and gather family & close friends for her birthday celebration. 

 

 

I think that people just don't understand the importance that we feel about our children's milestones, the fact that we face a huge emptiness of what once was, the hole left by our departed loved one.  My children's birthdays mean so much more to me now.  I just don't think that others get that.     

 

 

I hope that you enjoy tonight with your girls, whatever you decide to do.  Sweet 16!!

[RobFTC]

So if I'd had more patience, I would have been able to elide the second set of people - I got three e-mails this morning and a call at lunch time because they were worried their e-mails were not getting through.  So we will see them tonight, and that will be good.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Trying]

I understand the frustration and disappointment, sometimes even decent people suck.

Happy birthday to the girls and a big hug to you for parenting two 16 year old girls so well alone!  Enjoy the celebration.

[Guest TooSoon]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GIRLS!  Glad it worked out in the end.  xo