What do I want , really really want? online dating related

[klim]

Still pondering.....but I' dating mr hyper.

He's in love with me..which makes me wonder cause I don't think you can fall in love that fast....I tell him directly that he doesn't know me yet( he saw me first a month ago)

I find him intriguing,he makes me feel good, we do interesting things together and there's some chemistry. I have some reservations in some areas but I feel I need time to sort out whether I'm ok with those  parts of his personality.

The problem is I'm putting pressure on myself to figure it out cause he is "already in love". I think I am being normal taking my time.

 

Once again I wish this was all a little easier and more straight forward and I didn't try and think everything through...

[momtokam]

Klim, I personally believe that sometimes love can happen quickly and in the most unexpected ways. But, it's harder if you are feeling pressured, even if the pressure comes from you. Maybe without your reservations you would feel differently.

 

Try and take the pressure off yourself. If he is ok with waiting, then you should be too. Try and enjoy what it is now and try not to forward think.

[Guest nonesuch]

Maybe I'm cynical.  I believe in infatuation at first sight.  It takes time, for me at least, to observe whether the characteristics I think I see are genuinely there. 

 

Watching how someone deals with rude drivers, bad days at work, elderly folks blocking the aisle at the supermarket or cold food at restaurants is informative, and folks are usually on their best behavior for the first few weeks or months.

 

When a man told me he was in love with me within a month, I didn't find it flattering.  I considered him needy.  When I stopped seeing him, he fell into love with three or four other women within the next few months.

[klim]

Still dating ...am relaxing a little bit.

 

He has calmed down a little , i think he realized he was freaking me out  with his professions of love so early on. I have been very upfront with him , telling him I need time. I still have fun every time I'm out, there's alot  about him that I enjoy and yet there are a few points of concern. I am  also very upfront with him about that( although it is hard to articulate my concerns)...I don't think people should be required to change to fit into a relationship so what I'm trying to sort out is whether I can deal with the points of concern.

 

Part of my feelings/concerns stem from the fact that we have such diverse backgrounds... I've lived in this area all my life. I've basically only lived in two houses minus a couple of transition apartments as Dh and I  became established. He on the other hand grew up in rural Holland, came to Canada in early 2000 and has moved about every 2 years since arriving.  part of me thinks that is cool, I'm enjoying learning about different things, but part of me is concerned that differences once the novelty wears off will be difficult to deal with.

 

so still pondering and yes trying not to think too hard and go with the flow.....still waiting for clarity.

 

Any similar stories would be appreciated.

 

 

 

[Captains wife]

Hope you are having fun klim : )  I am very wary of early professions of love, esp if I'm not in the same place. BUT my LH told me on date 3 or 4 that he loved me - and we ended up moving in together 6 months later and got married. That's just the way he was...I on the other hand am much more guarded and cautious and it can take me a while to get there. Some differences are ok - part of dating is learning what you like, don't like...and what you can live with. Just have fun, take one date a a time for now and get to know this guy at your own pace. I've moved around a lot in my life - but very settled now. Could have just been circumstances etc. Keep us posted and have fun getting to know him!