Bad Dreams

[kaleighmorgan13]

My fiancé passed away 1 month ago in a car accident and I never got a chance to say goodbye. I pray and pray to dream about him every night - I just want to see his face again.  And some nights my wish is granted but so far my dreams have been AWFUL! In every dream I've had about him so far he's alive but he has left me or he's sitting right next to me telling me he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

 

I get to experience the pain of losing him (even though the context is different) every single night. I'm sure it's just my brains way of processing losing him, but jeez. How much more painful can my brain really make this for me? Did anyone have a similar experience at first? Do you think my terrible dreams mean something more than just my brain processing the grief? When do the good dreams start?  :'(

[marjoe]

My sympathies on your loss, Kaleigh - so I'll try to answer based on my own experience. Yes, the dreams can be G-d-awful. No, there is nothing more to them than your brain processing. What I did from the beginning was write down everything the next day. More times than not, I'd see where my brain was taking me. Did it help? Well, hell, not in the helping of the grief thing. But it gave me a little bit of clarity. Hang in there - the brain and heart deal with emotional trauma in not so great ways - but they do deal.

[MR]

Sorry for your loss. I had similar dreams about my wife where I have been told she is gone just 1 or 2 times it is like she is alive. I am dying to communicate with her in dreams but so far nothing.

I hope it will get better for you.

 

Hugs

Manoj

[tybec]

Yes, had the same dreams. They were gut wrenching to think he would leave me, had been unfaithful, so out of character.  I looked it up, and it is a common dream, as your brain seems to try to make some sense of the loss as leaving as they did was not their choice. 

 

Hugs!  It is devastating. Wake up and so upset, only to pacify it with, "no, he died, not cheated or left me. " Yeah, the widow world...

[beth_krkswidow]

I have not had one dream about him, and I want to dream about him so badly. I just want to be with him, even for a minute in a dream. So far, not one dream.

 

So sorry, Kaleigh, so sorry you're going through this

[JP]

I have not yet seen him in my dreams and I don't know why. Every night before I go to sleep I pray and pray that I will see him but I always wake up disappointed. I feel like I am being tortured all over again that he is not coming to me.

[Adley]

I'm so sorry. For months, 5 or 6, when I woke up it was her on forced breathing. Not even 90 pounds. So every morning it took a long time to go through the entire ordeal to figure out why she wasn't there to talk about it. Then I got to other dreams, for example- she was there but not interested. She had other things to do. Flat out didn't love me. 

    They got few and far between, then nothing for a long time. And now I've had maybe one a month for six months that was just like life used to be, even one where we held each other and I could still feel her when I woke up in the middle of the night. Tears and hugs