Gifted Children

[TofinoMan]

I have a hypothetical question for any and all to chime in on.

Lets say you know someone who had a child who is smarter than most of the kids their age.

Lets call this child Bob.

 

Bob in many ways is a regular child who likes to play and loves dogs and cheeseburgers.

But Bob has an IQ through the roof, and his teachers are at a loss as to even what to do with him.

He could be in a class 11 grades above usual for his age....or more...

Would you advise that Bob be let soar freely like an eagle in an updraft to reach any heights he can.

Or held back because it is important for kids to just be kids.

Just interested in the collective thoughts on this.

Cheers

[Abitlost]

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[imissdow]

I have one gifted kid, she should have been able t skip a grade or 2, however our school doesnt allow it. So, she ended up almost flunking out. She told me she would have doubled up on classes if it actually would have gotten her somewhere.

So I would agree that what ever their level is where they should be. I also think that maturity level also counts.

There was a 15yo at college with me. She did ok in classes but really seemed to struggle with the social stuff. She often dressed inapprotly and her couldn't handle finances and was always was a mess. So I would say you need to balance both out.

[TofinoMan]

Thank You Abitlost.

[RyanAmysMom]

I could have written what Abitlost said, word for word.  I had a certified genius husband, and have 2 kids who were completely bored at school.  Pulled the older one from traditional school and now he homeschools himself, he follows a curriculum, but is free to learn at his own pace and loves to branch out on tangents and become a genius on topics that he chooses.

My daughter, although equally as intelligent and capable, has chosen to stay in traditional school because she values her social interactions and school activities.

Do what's right for your gifted child - and let them have a LOT of say in the process.  They really do know what they need.

[Guest oneoftwo]

"smarter than most of the kids their age"

 

I'm going to go the other way here. My elder two were twin co-validictorians when they graduated high school, and their younger brother has above a 4.0.

 

Smarts are more than grades, or test scores. It's really important that they get to be kids, not shoved into social situations above their level.

Let them be kids, let them enjoy blowing bubbles, watching cartoons, having treasure hunts. Why deny that? They have so much of their lives to be brainiacs. Just find some more challenging stuff, that is at a kid level- there is plenty out there. Sports helps too, even chess counts

[TofinoMan]

Imissdow, thank you very much.

[TofinoMan]

RyanAmysMom thank you kindly.

Bob does not like school or its super slow pace either.

[TofinoMan]

Oneoftwo you are right kids need to be kids.

Thankfully this hypothetical child also knows how to play.

Thank you for the input.

[Guest oneoftwo]

One of my kids went through the top ranked public university in the USA.

He had a kid in his engineering classes that was 15.

That kids family had to move to the place, since he was too young to be in the dorms

 

That does not sound good.

 

I'm not unsympathetic to your question, my youngest was ready for school more than a year earlier than most, and the dates line up- so we sent him. So now he'll be 17 at uni, a least a year younger than most. But probably quite a bit smarter. So, in my husbands absence, I've kept to our original plan. He needs to be challenged, but we don't want him out of his league socially, since that's were so much of our joy comes from. 

 

[Abitlost]

.

 

[Guest oneoftwo]

oneoftwo, please do not judge this child or his family's decision from the outside. My son, too, at the age of 15 entered a highly-selective engineering college where he is thriving alongside -- and accepted by -- his intellectual peers. It was a motion he advocated for, propelled, and fulfilled (despite my own preconceived ideals that he be amongst same-age peers) to satisfy himself. For him, this is his happy place. Some of my kids' friends families have moved across the country to meet the needs of their profoundly gifted children because, sadly, this population is grossly underserved by our educational system.

 

abl

 

Thanks for the info. I am just saying that your kids are and should be treated just like everyone elses (and by by the way mine could be "gifted" just never tested out that way because we didnt think that was a big deal.

 

[Wheelerswife]

I am just saying that your kids are and should be treated just like everyone elses (and by by the way mine could be "gifted" just never tested out that way because we didnt think that was a big deal.

 

It sounds to me like there is a difference between gifted children who can be educated in either public or private schools, and Bob, who seems to be exceptionally gifted.  Tofinoman says that Bob is 11 grades ahead of his peers.  I don't think this child can just be swept into the typical system.  The trick is going to be trying to find appropriate educational resources AND finding ways to allow Bob to socialize as normally as possible.  I have worked in an early-to-college program myself (I know of residential college programs for students as young as high school juniors/grade 11) and some of our students were extremely frustrated in more typical schools.  Their parents often resorted to online education/homeschooling, but parents had some frustration because they did not feel equipped to teach their own children.  The students in our program prefer to socialize with other highly gifted peers, where they feel understood...or with adults. 

 

I hope that others, such as abitlost and RyanAmysMom, who have raised or know of others who have raised highly exceptional children can offer more specific information about what worked for their children.

 

Maureen

 

 

[Sugarbell]

One of my 3 kids is gifted..But I've always been very thankful that socially he's a regular kid. And his IQ is 160..it's not just a "borderline gifted/bright"-usually kids with that high of IQ do not relate well socially to peers their own age.

 

Do I see it both ways...my son was supposed to jump a grade level-take a bus to the high school and take high school English and Math. He begged me not to make him. He wanted to stay with his friends all day. Yes he's bored and makes a 4.0 without any effort. But keeps himself busy with lawn jobs, sports, church, social things. He's happy. That's the most important thing to me is he's happy.

 

On the other hand, I've seen gifted children be miserable at school..and they need academically pushed. They thrive on it..they see no need for other "normal kid" things. Those kids do need more academic opportunities and stimulation. Just as no two people are the same...no two "gifted" kids are the same. What works for one doesn't work for others.

 

The people (hopefully parent or parents) that know the child best needs to tailor their decision to that particular kid.

[Guest oneoftwo]

To the OP,

Clearly this is a delicate subject and one you should not take advice from random folks who may or may not have genuine experience /kids of their own to bring into it. If a child is academically more than 5 years ahead of their brightest peers, and cannot socially interact with their age group, then they may need some type of assistance, not just being advanced into a higher grade.

[trying2breathe]

My firstborn tested highly gifted, and we were fortunate before the start of his 1st grade to move to an area with a grade school specifically designed to accommodate the needs of highly gifted children.  This school provided academic support and social skills, and for my son this made a tremendous difference in not only his academic progress but his mental well being.  Things may be different now, but when my children were younger the gifted program in public schools did not start until 3rd grade. For us, this was too late as my son was struggling and frustrated in kindergarten. 

 

 

I agree with Abitlost, highly gifted chlldren are special needs.  Many children test gifted, for those that are highly/profoundly gifted it's important to specifically address their needs. 

 

 

A resource that was helpful to me - www.gifteddevelopment.com

[TofinoMan]

I am just saying that your kids are and should be treated just like everyone elses (and by by the way mine could be "gifted" just never tested out that way because we didnt think that was a big deal.

 

It sounds to me like there is a difference between gifted children who can be educated in either public or private schools, and Bob, who seems to be exceptionally gifted.  Tofinoman says that Bob is 11 grades ahead of his peers.  I don't think this child can just be swept into the typical system.  The trick is going to be trying to find appropriate educational resources AND finding ways to allow Bob to socialize as normally as possible.  I have worked in an early-to-college program myself (I know of residential college programs for students as young as high school juniors/grade 11) and some of our students were extremely frustrated in more typical schools.  Their parents often resorted to online education/homeschooling, but parents had some frustration because they did not feel equipped to teach their own children.  The students in our program prefer to socialize with other highly gifted peers, where they feel understood...or with adults. 

 

I hope that others, such as abitlost and RyanAmysMom, who have raised or know of others who have raised highly exceptional children can offer more specific information about what worked for their children.

 

Maureen

 

Wheelerswife you are right about what i was meaning but described terribly.

Bob isn't an older kid of say 10, much less a basically grown teenager of 15.

Bob should have been relaxing in grade 1 not doing university classes.

University professors say Bob would tire of 1st year university within a  month.

Bob isn't just good at regular classes like math either.

Doing geography can point out every country and name the capital on a map.

But then tell you the lat and long coordinates of the capital.

Bob hung around a machinest/fabricator briefly and watched.

Then instinctively knew how to make very complex items and program perfectly machines in a fraction of the time a well trained and college degree educated user can do it that runs it daily. And do so from a hand drawn sketch.

Or spend a little time with a ship captain and be handed some books.

Then get 100% on every test to become an unlimited captain meant for people who graduated up and up in tonnage and have 20 years experience on the oceans in giant ships.

Bob likes books and reads at a rate that would boggle most peoples minds.

Not books a typical 4 or 5 year old would read at those ages. Tech manuals for complex aircraft or history books and the list goes on.

P

Adults 25 to 65 with an IQ of 170 talk to Bob and they feel that maybe the idea they used to have of their being very smart was incorrect and they feel inferior to Bob's 5 year old mind.

Bob spends a few hours with a marine mechanic of over 20 years experience and one of the top in his field. Then comments he is learning outboard repair things he still didn't know from Bob doing an engine overhaul.

Bob was talking to one of his parents about the molecular structure of metals during the heat treating process to harden it. Bob baffled his parent and the parent just sat nodding. When asked Bob said that the information can be found online and read.

If Bob was 15 or even 10 the people who love Bob and are concerned about him wouldn't be bothered by the idea of university. My hypothetical Bob character in question is a little kid.

Thanks for the awesome input by all to a hypothetical question.

And sorry for the poor description given by me to what i was meaning to ask.

I am certainly not smart and if i was then would have made it clear Bob the character in this scenario was merely a young child not an olxer child or a teenager.

 

No i do not have a son if someone wonders if i was talking about my son.

 

[TornApart]

Give him the chance to soar - then see what his choice is. The wind will take him where he is meant to be.