Child Protective Services out to get me...

[keeptrying]

My husband and I would take our children on a few vacations a year. Last one

right before he died we asked for a paper we can fill out after we got back to

have the absences excused. After my husband died, I didn't want "constant" sadness

in the house, and I wanted to push myself, and to know I can get through this and everything

will be okay. I decided to take the kids on vacation for a week. I got back

and told attendance we left and asked for a form. They said no, I needed it before

I left.

I got a call 2 days ago from the attendance guy, who sounded very upset and angry

asking why my son has missed school, what was

he sick? I said I am going to be honest and explained the situation. I told him

I was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. He knows the situation of me being

pregnant with 6 kids. He said that sorry doesn't cut it, I need to be a more

responsible parent, I don't' care about your situation,

get up in the mornings and get my kids off to school. - He was calling child protective services on me.

AHHH sleep.. I had to admit I day dreamed a bit about what it would be like to sleep in..

actually sleep at all.. I am up VERY early every morning, I have a lot of small kids.

I called the councilor and told her I didn't think it was fair to have child

protective services called on me. My children are well taken care of and are in no harm or danger.

She said, well how are you coping with the loss

of your husband. I said, I miss him, I sure wish he would walk through that door

but, hey, this is reality and I am doing fine. My kids get read to every night, they

are great students and we do activities together. She said, well, with all those

kids, it is not possible to take on all that by yourself. I explained that she

can look at grades and behaviors of my children to see how I am doing, and everyone

is doing great. - Needless to say..

I get the kids out of the bath the next day and there is some strange guy peeking

in my windows. It was child protective services. They asked questions that had NOTHING to

do with the welfare of my children, where did my husband work, how many homes

we own, did we sell them, who is the property management companies, how long were we together.. etc

Then he said that he was told I had serious mental issues and concerns that the councilor stated from a

statement I said. I asked what that was, he pulled a sheet out, and read it off.

She said, well how are you coping with the loss of your husband. I said, I miss him,

I sure wish he would walk through that door but, hey, this is reality and I am doing fine. -

I asked why that makes me have mental

issues. He said, YOUR HUSBAND IS DEAD. I said, I know, he is right over there..

and pointed to the ashes, he isn't walking anywhere. He said, well saying things

like that makes you unstable. So, needless today, they went through my house, fridge

drilled me with questions, and did not find anything or couldn't find anything.

He said he needed to come back to talk to my son when he is out of school.

I feel as though if they wanted to help, they would have suggested councilors or

other programs in my community, not a service that takes your kids away because

you went on vacation and you wished your husband would come back.

Now I am a target of the state, and I am scared to death, paranoid. There is NO way

I would EVER go to counselling. If I am being labeled mentally unstable for something

as innocent as that, if I went to counselling, that would confirm what they are

assuming. I am just really disappointed in the situation and people in general. 

[PhotoJunkie]

I have no advice.  Just lots and lots of hugs.  You may want to consult with a lawyer.  They have free consultations most of the time and maybe they can advise you.  Their questions do seem strange and out of line if they were being called because of absenteeism from school.  You so do not need this added stress.  I wish I could kick them for you! 

 

Lynn

[Lisa]

This seems incredibly intrusive and off the wall. I will say there is nothing unstable about getting counseling if needed but this is an outright invasion for no good reason that I can see. I dont know where you live but in New York you can practically kill your child in public and not get a visit. The ultimate goal is to keep the family intact so try your best to stay calm.

[anniegirl]

I agree with Lynn. Talk to a lawyer. They can advise you of your rights and possibly find out if the school had grounds to make a complaint in the first place and if they didn't, the school and the counselor need to be reported to the school district administration. Filing complaints for no reason is harassment and schools know this.

 

It sounds like CPS doesn't have anything they can charge you with so now they are fishing in hopes of finding something.

 

Not easy, but try to be calm. You have rights. You just need some legal advice to find out what they are and how to settle this issue.

 

Good luck.

 

[keeptrying]

If someone would have told me this story, I would think there MUST be more to it than this. There is NO way that Child protective services would be called for those reason. I would think the person wasn't being completely honest, because it is SO ridiculous and seems like something was left out and missing.  THAT is the part that hurts the most. Children are being sexually, mentally, physically abused, neglected. Poor behaviors in school at home, and grades. For employees at school to think that taking a vacation and a single woman can't do everything in my situation is a slap in the face. Instead of thinking that SHE wouldn't able to do it, doesn't mean I can't. She should be encouraging what I do, not saying, not one person can take on all this. She is doing way more harm than and no good at all. On a positive note, my cousin is the head of Child protective services - (no one knows this) - and I told her what happened. She knows my family very well and how we live. She was in SHOCK. She said you must be joking, I have a hard time believing that CPS would ever be called on your family for anything.. Then she told me, that is why I have my kids home schooled. There are kids that are dying every day under the supervision of CPS, but they will be more than happy to harass anyone that is doing well because they have a false report. The state is backwards in what they are doing.

[Mangomom]

I have an acquaintance who lost a child (senior) at the beginning of this school year.  The whole family is devastated and the younger son (8th grade) has missed ALOT of school because Mom just doesn't get him up or he doesn't feel like going.  By law, the school had to report her and send registered letters, etc.  While they understood the situation, they have a legal responsibility.

 

In your case, it sounds like it goes beyond that.  The school employee who reported it must have taken creative license and offered opinion, rather than fact, regarding your mental health.  That is wrong.  I would certainly contact a lawyer to discuss the situation.  Not to sue anyone, but to find out how you can legally go about making this right.  In the meantime, there are only a couple of months left in the school year.  Try to make a good faith effort to get your son to school, so they have no further information to report.

 

It is so hard to navigate our own way through this hell.  Having to be the leader through it for our kids is downright terrifying.  I wish you the best

[imissdow]

It sounds to me like someone called the hotline. We have one in our state and all calls are required to be investigated.  My Ex called it on me because I "made my kids do chores using chemicals"  Ie they had to scrub the sink using soap and water.  Schools are mandated reporters and if a kid has more then 5 absences that have to report it.  It sounds like the person who filed the report doesn't understand loss an grief at all.  Probably the social worker was trying to rattle you and see if you would behave badly.  I would guess that after they talk to your son they will close your case assuming they have no more reports.  Take a deep breath you can do this.