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I used to love the fall.


Mrskro
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But then DH dies on Sept 29th, we buried him on Oct 4th, our anniversary is Oct 9th.  My birthday is in a couple days and his on November 6th. 

 

I'll be officially older than he ever got to be. 

 

I hate the fall now.

 

 

 

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I have not been a fan of fall, either.  My first husband died on the first day of fall, and he hated to be cold, so, in some ways, if he was going to die, at least he got to enjoy the warmth of the summer first.  His birthday is also in November...the 9th one he has missed.

 

Hang in there. 

 

Maureen

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Yeah, fall used to be my favorite time of year... now, meh.  Wedding anniversary time, birthday time. I just had *that* birthday- the one where, if your spouse was the older one, you turn the age they were when they died. In roughly 6 months, I'll have had more time in this world than he got.

 

 

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I know how you feel - my boyfriend was killed in an accident on November 18th. I do still love the fall objectively but every time there's that change in the air I get terrible flashbacks and kind of turn into a nutcase for the season. Thinking of you and sending love!

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I am having some issues with the fall also. I think for several reasons. First, I have noticed every time the seasons have changed it is a reminder that time is passing without her Winter to Spring, Spring to Summer, Summer to Fall. Second, it is a month out until the first anniversary of her death and I am leaving the time of firsts and heading into the time of agains. Third, and I think this is the main reason I am having a hard time with the Fall, it was the time each year when we started nesting. Springs and Summers were filled with doing things both before and after she died. Fall for me has always been a time of coming inside, getting away from the dark overcast sky and cold winds of Michigan into a home warm with yellow incandescent lighting and dark hard wood floors and the sounds of my wife and kids talking and laughing. Now she is gone and my youngest is away, and the house is quite.

 

One thing that keeps me going is that I know life can change in an instant from good to bad. which means that life must also be able to change from bad to good. Just keep moving forward, embrace the memories and wait for a new emotional / spiritual Spring to return.

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