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Division of labor, questions about how-to-do stuff your spouse always did


Leadfeather
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Picking up the slack where you are used to support is tough on an emotional level as well as the execution and implementation. Even years later, it sucks.

 

For air travel, I would recommend purchasing tickets directly through the airline. First do a Google flight search which will show you all the available routes and prices per segment. I recommend using the same airline for all segments, even if you can save a few bucks here or there...the rules and restrictions vary so much. Most, but not all of the airlines are viewable on Google flights. Then go to the specific airline site for the route you chose and book it directly. Pay attention to all the different classes of tickets you can buy which can carry different rules these days - from carry-ons to boarding to flight changes to seat selection. If you have a frequent flyer number with any of the airlines, enter it, and if not sign up. I advise against portals (such as Orbitz, Travelocity, etc) which often have unforeseen consequences.

 

abl

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I've done well booking wth Travelocity but always research airlines and hidden cost. Sorting by the cheapest doesn't always pan out because of hidden fees like charging for seat selection, charging for checked luggage, charging for carry on bags, etc. it's always best to also know if you prefer non stop or are okay with stops and know what times of day you prefer to travel. I like travelocity because if you need hotel and rental car, they sometimes have sales incentives to bundle than go a la carte. It's all a matter of where you are going and when.

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I was lucky in the fact that I did most of the household and planning things.  He worked very long hours as we ran cattle properties.  I tried very hard to cover all things so when he did have time we were able to spend it together doing what we enjoyed.

What I find most difficult now, with the whole division of labour thing, is if I am sick.  There is nobody to pick up the slack.  I have simplified things a bit but at first I had a barn full if horses and a few dogs that had to be cared for no matter what.  I was so sick one time I was out feeding the horses and cleaning the stalls vomiting away.....it was all just a daze for about 3 days......

I have learned the person I depend on is me and I try to organize things now a little differently.

 

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