I am a failure

[rooshy]

I don't think that I can do this widda/special needs parent anything anymore.  After nearly 4 1/2 years I have run out of steam.  I have two boys - my oldest son, DS1, is typical and becoming a teenager in a few months.  My younger son, DS2, is eleven and autistic and non-verbal.  Both are testing their limits in their own ways - DS1 is giving me an attitude and DS2 is also acting out - suddenly he won't pay attention in school or at his latchkey program and is afraid to go outside.  When DS2 is bored he gets ornery and into things so I have to keep a constant eye on him.  I feel terrible as this takes away from DS1 and he's growing way too fast for me.  I was in such a hurry tonight to make dinner that I forgot about DS1's tutor appointment. 

 

When I get home form work I hit the ground running - dinner needs made, DS1 needs help with homework, DS2 needs help getting ready for bed, etc.  Myt day doesn't end until around 9 pm, then get up to do it again at 5 am.  I truly feel worn down. 

 

I know that I can't all things to everyone but damn can't just one day go right?

[Guest marian1953]

I just read this and this very post proves that you are NOT  a failure- just a tired mum doing it all. Rooshy, I hope you find a bit of time for yourself tonight. I salute you for what you do- I have a blessed autistic 35 year old nephew, so I know those struggles well.

Marian

[BrokenHeart2]

So sorry you are exhausted Rooshy. Any chance to ask for some help?  Never hurts to ask to lighten your burden/load.

Hugs to you

[Mizpah]

Oh my gosh - not a failure!  I can relate to being spread too thin - full-time attorney, an hour-plus commute one way, infant daughter.  When I get home, it's go-go-go until 10pm and then there's still housework (and more professional work) to be done.  It's exhausting, totally depleting.  There is no time for recuperation of any kind.  Your exhaustion is not a sign of failure - you're a superwoman forreal.  It doesn't look like sexy capes, it looks like you and me at the end of one of these evenings.  I keep saying, "When's the easy part?!"  I'm thinking of you and sending encouragement.

[IfIonlycould]

YOU are far from a failure....there is nothing I can say and I want to be able to say something to fix it all....but you are FAR from a failure.  I agree with Mizpah you are a superwoman. 

[Jen]

Oh, sweetie, you are not any kind of failure! I feel like you do-- this single parent gig SUCKS, there's no getting around it. ((((HUGS)))) I wish I could win the lottery and host a humongous "get away from it ALL" bago for us.