Feeling Stronger

[66etype]

I have recently passed my 3rd year. I feel a little unusual in that I was loved very well by Michael. I grieved him hard for over 2 years and then things seemed to lighten up. Right now I feel the most confident, beautiful and have the most self worth than I ever have. I feel like Michael is cheering me on from the sidelines... it's a very odd place to be and wonder if anyone else has felt like this. I'm happy, sassy and feeling pretty good right now and I'm not sure why. I'm still alone and it's o.k. Life is so fucking weird. All replies are encouraged!

 

Tracy

[Lisa]

Im so happy for you enjoy it.

One of my favorite lyrucs from Dave Matthews band

"Troubles they may come and go,

But good times they are the gold.

And if this road gets rocky girl,

Just steady as we go."

 

[WifeLess]

66etype,

 

Right now I feel the most confident, beautiful and have the most self worth than I ever have. I feel like Michael is cheering me on from the sidelines...

 

Very happy for you that your long journey has recently taken you in such a positive direction. Several years ago, when I first started feeling like I was making progress, I had a sense similar to the one you describe. That was when I posted:

 

I often feel that my [deceased] wife has been assisting me in facing the challenges of my new life. Some might say it is her actual spirit, and others, the spirit she instilled within me when she was alive. Whichever it is, it allows me to go on . . . Wherever I go, whatever I do, she is with me. And so I never feel that I am leaving her behind. I see her smiling with me when I am up, encouraging me when I am down, laughing at me when I do something dumb. As she did for so many years in life, I'm sure that in death she still wants the best for me. And so she is guiding me towards happiness.

 

--- WifeLess

[Mizpah]

I felt very much like this at around two years to two and a half years.  He loved me very well, and I him, and my first two years were very very intense grief, total delving into it, and then I felt like I emerged and came to life again (I also was alone), and I felt almost euphoric.  I had spent a lot of time trying to pay tribute to him, who he was, and I think that period was one of the best ways - loving life and loving being me, and still feeling so lucky that I had known the love we shared.

[Guest mawidow]

Life IS so. Fucking. Weird. I am at 2 years, and I feel him with me all the time. Cheering me as I make changes in absolutely every area of our old life. I have no self-doubt. The feeling of being utterly loved is with me all the time. Your post made me so very, very happy for you. Sending you much care.