Emotional "Acceptance?"

[the_master]

I read at DS that there is ?Logical Acceptance? that your spouse is gone and there is ?Emotional Acceptance.?

 

I accepted it from day one, because I had no choice. Apparently, that was ?logical.?

 

When and how does the other happen???

[Guest sphoc]

I don't think there is any right answer. You feel what you feel, and those are neither right or wrong. For me, I'm still working on the emotional acceptance, but I felt better about things in general a little over a year after DH died. I had managed to do some things for myself (finished my degree, moved to a new apartment), and continue to do so now (just bought a house on my own two years out). It took a very long time for me to not feel guilty and angry about what happened, and while I sometimes feel those things, it isn't as crushing as it was in the early days.

 

 

*hugs*

 

 

 

 

 

[JacklessSally]

I posted a few weeks ago that I think it is finally setting in for me that he is not coming back. Then again, I don't know if I were ever emotionally accept that fact. I'm 14 days shy of 6 months out. I'm rational as all get out, when I want to be. I know in my mind that he is gone, he did indeed die, and that hole in the ground is where he is.. My heart refuses to believe any of it.

[the_master]

Most of the time, now, I know and realize it. But sometimes, when I look at her pictures or hear a recording, I just can't believe she's gone, forever. That NOTHING can bring her home, to me.

 

Her death has really made me hope that there is an "afterlife." I'm not religious, but I hope her spirit is somewhere and not just an urn of ashes in the ground.

 

I guess I'll find out, soon enough.

[JacklessSally]

 

 

Her death has really made me hope that there is an "afterlife." I'm not religious, but I hope her spirit is somewhere and not just an urn of ashes in the ground.

 

 

I feel the same.. I hope there is an afterlife, and that he is looking out for me. I need him

[sdarrah1130]

I accepted it from day one, because I had no choice. Apparently, that was ?logical.?

 

When and how does the other happen???

 

I was actually thinking about posting something like this on my way to work this morning.  I am waiting fo the Emotional accptance to hit me.  Logically I know he is physically gone but I just can't seem to move the shoes from thier spot on the stairs because of the emotional attachment to the fact that that is where E left them,  I have had days where the emotions take over and I just want to do nothing. 

 

I wonder if this is still shock/denial.  Waiting for the emotions to catch up with the logic??

[mixelated]

... Logically I know he is physically gone but I just can't seem to move the shoes from their spot on the stairs because of the emotional attachment to the fact that that is where E left them...

 

Yes. I can't move his hat or his clothes in the dresser, because he's going to need them, I guess. And I never bothered his stuff when he was here, so it feels sneaky to look at his stuff now that he's gone. I desperately want to know if there are "answers" in his computer, but that would be the worst invasion of privacy. Having left, does he still need or want privacy? Do I respect his space as thoroughly as I did when he was alive, or does my desperation to find "reasons" or "clues" trump that?

 

I don't know whether to look forward to emotional acceptance or not.

[Justin]

I awoke too early this morning (again) and was lying in bed, just thinking. I believe in the afterlife and that I will see her again, but it occurred to me that I will never ever feel her physical body again. No more massaging her back, feet, or calves. No more rubbing the tops of her ears. No more holding her. Ever.

 

And then I realized I will never hear her voice again - the physical sound of air moving across her voicebox. I don't know how communication is done in Heaven, but I imagine it is something akin to to telepathy. I played a short video to hear her voice again (one of precious few) and had a good cry. I realized later in the shower that it is part of acceptance, and letting go... at least, for me.