Should I just let it go or should I make a stink?

[Kestrel]

DH died 9 1/2 years ago. His family has stayed in close contact since that time, even though they live hundreds of miles away. We vacation with them once a year and see them at other times. DH's sister has been especially attached to my oldest son who was 10 when his dad died. They've taken him on various trips, starting when he was 10. They've got all boys, so they really haven't done much for dd. They had made promises in the past to do something for dd, but that never materialized. This has caused dd to be mistrustful of them. They haven't done much for youngest ds either. Youngest ds was only a few months old when his dad died.

 

One of SIL's sons called up to ask if ds19 wants to go camping for 4-5 days on a "guys trip", but didn't mention ds10. Their youngest is 13 and will be going on this trip. Everyone else is 19 or older. SIL just emailed me about arrangements for the trip. She apologized for not asking dd as it is a "guys trip", and said they'd do something special for her later this year, but made no mention of youngest ds. I emailed her back and asked if there was room for youngest ds. He was there when older ds was asked to go on the trip, and said "I want to go too!"

 

How far should I push them to include youngest ds? Older ds just got home from his first year of college and youngest ds had been pining for him for the past several months. He's been so excited about having his brother home. I know there will be bad feelings if  he doesn't get an invitation for this trip, both from having his brother pulled away again and for not being invited to visit with his cousins.

[Virgo]

Does your 19yo want your 10yo to go along on the trip? Maybe he should decline if his brother isn't included. That way the two of them could do something together. Maybe their own camping trip?

[MissinGrizz]

I wouldn't push it if a reasonable answer is given. If they want it to be teens and up, then it's reasonable. There is a big difference between 10 and 13 in terms of what they'd need to filter.

[Kestrel]

DS19 would like his little bro to go. DS19 gets embarrassed by the attention that his aunt showers on him, but not his siblings. I am thinking of having him stay home. They will be going on a different vacation with the same group plus some others about 3 days after this trip.