I guess I'm a bad person ... but it felt good!

[linda5]

My husband's birthday was a few days ago and his f/b account is still active.  I post things to him and our daughters do too.  He was also an author in his spare time and consequently had many "virtual" f/b friends that really didn't know him and never go to his page to see what he's doing. 

 

So, on May 6th, he got a few Happy Birthday wishes from strangers.  I let them all go for the last 2 years.  This time, they bothered me.  One stated, "Hey Will, have a big bang up blast on your birthday."  Or another one said, "My fictional dog, Harvey, wants to send you a Howling Good Birthday Wish."  So I started going through them and hit reply and said, "I'm sure my husband is having a great birthday, in Heaven." 

 

I know I should memorialize his page, but I like writing on it with what's happening in our family.  I don't think I was rude, just wanted them to know.  However, my daughters thought my reply was rude.  What do you think?

[Guest TooSoon]

No, not a bad person at all. 

 

Your post prompted me to look at my husband's page.  Top post is from my SIL (about whom I ranted in the General section earlier today).  It is a cell phone shot of my daughter's Christmas photo and the tagline says, "My heart, my (insert my daughter's name).  I so want to write, "No, actually, that would be OUR (insert name)."  But I'm totally hormonal and have learned my lesson about PMS posting.....

 

It's your husband and your turf.  Hugs.

[CBB]

Not rude at all. Sending you a gigantic hug. I get it.

 

Cyndi

[swilson]

Honestly don't see anything wrong, it conveys information they didn't know. Someday I'll have to do something about DW's Facebook but it's a handy way to see what's going on with her relatives that she shared with me all these years. I do respond to friend requests to let them know she died and use the message feature once in a blue moon but no chat or anything to indicate activity.

[Guest look2thesky]

They probably had no idea he has passed.

FB is very much a social ego thing.

[BrokenHeart2]

Shortly after DH died I stopped all posting to his 'wall'. It's still there but not open to anyone posting to it. This past Easter Sunday I was getting ready to go for Easter lunch and His very old friend John knocked to the door. Hadn't seen him in 4 yrs beacause he lives hrs away and when he come 'home' he always stops in. It was so sad and aweful I had to break the news to him about my DH and BIL ( died within 2.5 months)

I will be taking down his profile in the next few weeks. Needs to be done and the kids agree so it will happen

These days to me it's  Fakebook ( don't mean to offend) it is what it is.

[Sugarbell]

(((((Hugs)))))

 

I always used to say "My mess my rules"

 

Don't sweat it.

[Guest Kamcho]

I vote a-okay. You go, girl. Sounds like a response your LH would approve of.

 

I call it "fakebook" too, BH. LH and I were both anti. I don't miss it. To each his/her own, it was unhealthy to me so I support people keeping it real on it, and those eschewing it.

[MikeR]

Linda5,

 

How would they know he's dead unless you tell them? I'm not a big FB user but maybe a post saying he passed away and you keep the site for the uses you described. You could invite those who actually knew him to write about their memories of him.

 

I think it's great that you write to him there. You know he's reading your posts. If only he could reply ...

 

Mike