This plate spinner is starting to drop some plates......

[momtokam]

I need to vent......sorry of it's long and makes no sense. .....I just need to get it out.

 

Being a solo parent to 3 kids in extra curricular activities, I find myself constantly trying to keep all the plates spinning in the air.

 

Tonight was another "perfomance",  3 kids, 4 activities, all at the exact same time in 3 corners of the city. Son had soccer, younger daughter had folk dancing jamboree,  postponed from last week due to weather, older daughter had soccer and school music rehearsal for nationals competition tomorrow.  I thought I finally got it all under control with some help from my FIL and younger daughter's friend's mom. I just had to pick up my older daughter after 1/2 of rehearsal  and take her to 1/2 of practice.

 

I screwed it up.  I went to the wrong field.  It's a new team with new fields and I thought all practices were at the same place. Wrong, I didn't look carefully at the team website. We walked around the whole complex, nothing. Called my friend (asst coaches wife) she finds a different field on coach's computer map search. I head there. My GPS has it on the south east side of the intersection.  We walk around this complex, nothing. By the time the coach called and told us it's the north west side, practice was over. Yup, crazy mom on a soccer field.

 

I lost it on the ride home, angry and sobbing, mad at them, mad at myself, mad at the world. My poor daughter said she wanted to quit to make it easier for me.  Not a stellar moment as a parent, that is for sure. Sigh.

 

Tomorrow she has nationals for her high school madrigal choral group. They perform at 2 downtown and at 4 she has her school soccer game in the burbs. I will be there for the competition and then  need to wisk her and a friend to the game. Their coach is a crazy women, who almost turned my future geneticist against science in grade 9. Can't reason with that woman. I better not screw it up tomorrow.

 

Thank you if you have read this far. I know many of you face the same challenges. I really don't know how we all get these things done.

[Guest Lost35]

MomtoKam,  I'm in awe that you are able to do what you do.  You are trying your best, and surely your children know that.  I find extra curricular activities overwhelming, on occasion, with only one five-year old!

 

I think, it's okay to cut back and simply do what works well and nothing more.  We missed Karate last weekend because I was sick and he wasn't feeling great.  This summer I've booked only kayaking and camping and fishing (karate is almost over).  And if we miss out, we miss out. 

 

I'm sorry I don't know your situation.  I always read here about how difficult it is for only parents to keep up the pace of two (we never had two, so I feel "fortunate" in some way that there is not the same sense of loss) if that makes any sense.  By being only myself and my son, I've been able to tailor our lifestyle to one that works best, given my limited resources.  My heart goes out to you and to any other parent who is trying to maintain the same lifestyle as before for the children they have.  Your load is a great and heavy one, indeed.  You are doing your best, which is more than enough, no matter the outcome.

 

May tomorrow be better than today...

 

Take care.

 

-L.

[widowat33]

Hey, we all have to drop the plates once and awhile! At least you are making the effort to keep your kids in extracurricular activities and being involved at the same time, there are a lot of two parent households who do a lot less...not that I'm being critical of parents who decide not to put their kids in extra activities just trying to tell you to go easy on yourself!

I have two boys, they are in hockey and baseball, it's busy but manageable. Even before my husband passed away we took them out of soccer because it was just too much running, it was Saturday mornings and took away time that we could be spending together doing something we all enjoyed.

With only two I get overwhelmed at times, I can't imagine having three.

Good luck to her with the choral group and her soccer game

[Trying]

I so totally understand!  This spring is finally a little easier for me and I look back at last year and have no idea how I managed it all with 3 busy kids.  Things are going to fall through the cracks but you are doing an amazing job!  Big hugs to you.  Get through this spring and their current commitments and then really look at what you can eliminate going forward to make things more managable.

[Sugarbell]

((((((hugs))))))

 

I hear you...I get it!

 

Spring/last month of school always seems the busiest. It's tough and definitely a juggling act.

 

You are doing great!!!!

[Virgo]

I try to limit my three daughters to one activity/sport per season and I still have overlapping schedules at times. You are going to drive yourself insane. I don't see the harm it cutting back some of their activities/sports. You can only do so much. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[ieh21]

I am amazed that any of our children have extra-curriculars at all. It's simply nuts. I totally get the feeling that the world is crumbling and you just can't stop it, despite the best acrobatic act. Sometimes the stars just do not align.

 

I love that your daughter is aware enough to suggest quitting soccer. Seriously, you might not consider it a solution, fine, but the fact that she is empathetic enough to offer it, that's the proof of the great job you are doing, right there. Congratulations!

 

 

[luvmy2babies]

Bless your heart.  I think it speaks volumes that your daughter was willing to give up one of her activities.  You might consider taking her up on it, at least for now. 

 

I just have one activity to deal with and it has me running.  My daughter is in a city wide youth choir.  Was at work today about to go to the next task when I had this feeling that I needed to read the last email her choir director sent.  They have a performance this Friday.  Normal rehearsal time is 5:30 to 6:30.  But sometimes the time changes when a performance is near. 

 

Our rehearsal days starts early.  My son's preschool is 15 minutes from home, dd's school is 25 minutes up the highway from ds's school and to get to work I continue up the highway another 15 minutes from dd's school.  To get her to rehearsal, I have to leave work, go the 40 minutes to ds' school, then back track to dd's school with dinner in hand.  So every minute counts and it gets tough making a 5:30 rehearsal.  Checked the email...yep, dress rehearsal at 5:00. 

 

Just made it to that rehearsal today and she was actually late going in while she finished eating.  I picked this group dd is in because of her gift.  She has Dyslexia and ADHD and has to work her tail off everyday so having something she enjoys doing outside of school where she can shine has been really important.  My son had a tumble class but the teachers came to his preschool.  He is finishing preschool in a month though. 

 

There's some sports options for his age where they only meet once a week (practice and game on the same day); but it's every Saturday.  There's also a Tae Kwon Do place we pass almost daily he's been asking to do it because he can see the children inside.  They recommend a child attends 2-3 times a week.  I'm almost afraid to put him in anything at this point.  Not just because of dd's music; but some other obligations we have.  As she gets older though I know she'll be busier.  We'll be traveling 6 hours away to Georgia for 4 days in June for an Honor's Choir workshop.  My son sure has been patient through all of this though sitting through concerts, waiting through rehearsals and all.

 

deep breaths

[momtokam]

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. It really is impressive what we all juggle.

 

The overlap of summer activities starting, while spring ones are ending, and school activities are building up for end of school year, is the problem. Really I only have the three in soccer in the summer but getting 3 different schedules to sync is a miracle at best. For winter/spring they each had only one activity.

 

I'm very lucky that my father in law is close and after my mother in law died, he needed things to keep him busy. He is an amazing support and helps whenever possible.

 

Well today my daughter's school choral group won gold at nationals. I was so proud of her. We fought traffic from downtown to the burbs and I got them to their school soccer game for half time. Another day's juggling done, and her coach thanked me.

 

Tomorrow is another day.....

 

Big hugs everyone.....we need to be very proud of everything we accomplish in our crazy busy lone parenting lives. I just need to keep reminding myself, that's all. The odd plate might fall but the rest are still spinning.

 

[Sugarbell]

It's buts when all 3 kids are into various activities...My sons know and understand they can only do one activity at a time (but shoot with baseball around here it's impossible anyway to do anything else)

 

My youngest (7) is just starting to understand that she (we) can't do it all. I wouldn't let her do softball this year-She takes dance class and has a tumbling class. She has been asked to be on the dance competition team with her studio next year. After a long talk...she agreed not to do it yet. She would be in the studio 4 nights a week and she wouldn't be able to do anything else all year (not to mention the crazy $$$$ and travel involved-ridiculous)...She was upset at first but understood that it just wasn't doable with 3 kids.

 

It's tough-in the spring my mind is going a mile a minute trying to keep everyone straight.

[Guest Mel4072]

I'm applauding you for your parenting and drive!!!!