first real Milestone without him

[Carey]

My daughter is graduating from high school next week.  Tuesday night was Senior Awards night and they did a robing ceremony.  She goes to a small school, it's early/middle college high school.  So there are only like 50ish graduates.  So they can do more and make a bigger deal out of it.  They had pictures of each child up on the screen as they walked across the stage and their advisors "robed" them.  We had to submit a baby pic and a few others and the baby picture she chose has her daddy in it. And when each child walked across the stage they asked their parents to stand and I thought I'd never survive having to stand up by myself   I am SO flipping angry!!! He should be here damnit.  This should be one of the best times of her life and we're both miserable. Me because I'm mad I can't give her all the things most graduates take for granted. We even had to borrow a gown.  She misses her daddy, and she hasn't failed to notice how her older brother had a much better "graduation experience".  If that night was bad I can only imagine graduation next week. I just want to scream, cuss and break things.  And the breaking thing urge hasn't been around for awhile. I thought I'd gotten over it

[Lisa]

If anything would bring the urge back this is a good candidate.  These milestones are bittersweet. Hope youfee a bit better today.

[Virgo]

I think anger will always be a part of our grieving process. It just comes at different times like the uncontrollable crying. My oldest daughter is a sophmore, so I'll be in your shoes in a couple of years. I'm sorry. Do you have a friend that could go with you?

[Carey]

I do. my best friend. He went with me the other night and when I cried he'd poke me in the ribs and do a running goofy commentary on everything. He worked really hard to make me laugh. I'd have done way worse had he not been there.  I told him he should stand up with me so we could scandalize the whole school because they think I'm having an affair with him because we spend so much time together.  We could be the new millennium of the Harper Valley PTA.  The joking around did help some.

[rifatheroffour]

Carey, I'm right there with you.  My oldest graduates in four weeks and I am terrified, not that I will cry but that I will not be able to keep it discrete, I know I will be a mess..and I get do it again next year.  It is so not fair.  I will have my other kids with me and depending on the weather far too much family!  Right now I wish I could have just a friend with me but for similar reasons I won't.  I know we will survive these things but it still sucks...